Martin Newell: lines upon privatisation of the railways

Due to engine failure,

Due to heavy rain,

Due to creatures on the line

Regularly slain

By an earlier train.

Due to one-day stoppage,

Due to work restriction,

Due to booklet, Times of Trains

Sold now under: FICTION,

Due to dereliction.

Due to broken goods train,

Due to ancient stock,

Due to frequent hand on

Panto-Isolating Cock,

Major stumbling block.

Due to frantic sell-off,

Due to polling date,

Due to foreign cowboys

Carving up the freight,

Trains are running late.

Due to previous franchise

Covertly decided,

Due to engineering works

Frequently derided,

Buses are provided.

Due to a derailment,

Due to wear and tear,

Due to senior management

Becoming millionaire,

Trains may not be here.