Monday morning life

Alcohol poisoning does exist. You can catch germs off a dirty glass. Thank goodness it's Monday morning so the horror of a hangover from Saturday night is finally beginning to recede.

"I never get hangovers," says my sister blithely. "Neither did I when I was 21," I snarl back down the phone. "Just wait. By the age of 24 one glass too many of white wine can make you wake up at 4.30 with a blinding headache, raging thirst and a need for paracetamol. It happens to all of us."

I can tell she doesn't believe me. In my mid 20s I have developed a sensible attitude to parties. Before I go I make the following resolve: I am only going to drink two glasses of wine. I will behave in a mature and sensible fashion.

Three hours later when I'm reeling around in some pub, dancing with more enthusiasm than skill, there is always a minute's epiphany: I know I am going to feel terrible tomorrow. Then I have another drink and suddenly I'm OK again.

In your 20s parties suddenly divide. There are the mature, engagement parties (held in first-time buyer flats, with discreet nibbles and white wine). And then there are the pseudo-student parties (rented places, lots of beer, red wine and cigarettes and Abba played very loudly). But it doesn't matter which one it is; I end up with a hangover.

There's always the weirdest coincidences at twentysomething parties. You are blithely telling tales of college days, safe in the knowledge that your host went to a university at the other end of the country. But then you end a story by saying, "Anyway Helen turned out to be a real cow; we were well out of it ... Her surname? Yes, it probably is the same person as your boyfriend's flatmate. Hahaha."

Still, it could be worse. I had just started going out with an absent- minded intellectual when we went to one of these studenty parties. He immediately met Paul, a friend of his, and launched into a long anecdote. I shifted from foot to foot. Eventually he realised.

"Oh sorry I've been really rude," he said. "Yasmin, this is Paul. Paul, this is Yasmin."

"Glenda. My name is Glenda," I said through gritted teeth. Yasmin was a friend of mine.

He did apologise repeatedly for his vagueness. Still I ended up with a hangover. Rather than him.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
CSKA Moscow celebrate after equalising with a late penalty

Arts and Entertainment
Life and Style
Designer Oscar de la Renta takes a bow after showing his Spring 2015 collection in September, his last show before his death
fashionThe passing of the legendary designer has left a vacancy: couturier to America’s royalty, says fashion editor Alexander Fury
Life and Style

Company reveals $542m investment in start-up building 'a rocket ship for the mind'

Bourgogne wine maker Laboure-Roi vice president Thibault Garin (L) offers the company's 2013 Beaujolais Nouveau wine to the guest in the wine spa at the Hakone Yunessun spa resort facilities in Hakone town, Kanagawa prefecture, some 100-kilometre west of Tokyo
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    IT Project Manager

    Competitive: Clearwater People Solutions Ltd: Our client based in Chelmsford a...

    Business Intelligence Specialist - work from home

    £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: An established and growing IT Consultancy fir...

    Business Intelligence Specialist - work from home

    £40000 per annum: Ashdown Group: An established and growing IT Consultancy fir...

    IT Manager

    £40000 - £45000 per annum + pension, healthcare,25 days: Ashdown Group: An est...

    Day In a Page

    Indiana serial killer? Man arrested for murdering teenage prostitute confesses to six other murders - and police fear there could be many more

    A new American serial killer?

    Police fear man arrested for murder of teen prostitute could be responsible for killing spree dating back 20 years
    Online petitions: Sign here to change the world

    Want to change the world? Just sign here

    The proliferation of online petitions allows us to register our protests at the touch of a button. But do they change anything?
    How to Get Away with Murder: Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama

    How to Get Away with Murder

    Shonda Rhimes reinvents the legal drama
    A cup of tea is every worker's right

    Hard to swallow

    Three hospitals in Leicester have banned their staff from drinking tea and coffee in public areas. Christopher Hirst explains why he thinks that a cuppa is every worker's right
    Which animals are nearly extinct?

    Which animals are nearly extinct?

    Conservationists in Kenya are in mourning after the death of a white northern rhino, which has left the species with a single male. These are the other species on the brink
    12 best children's shoes

    Perfect for leaf-kicking: 12 best children's shoes

    Find footwear perfect to keep kids' feet protected this autumn
    Two super-sized ships have cruised into British waters, but how big can these behemoths get?

    Super-sized ships: How big can they get?

    Two of the largest vessels in the world cruised into UK waters last week
    British doctors on brink of 'cure' for paralysis with spinal cord treatment

    British doctors on brink of cure for paralysis

    Sufferers can now be offered the possibility of cure thanks to a revolutionary implant of regenerative cells
    Let's talk about loss

    We need to talk about loss

    Secrecy and silence surround stillbirth
    Will there be an all-female mission to Mars?

    Will there be an all-female mission to Mars?

    Women may be better suited to space travel than men are
    Oscar Pistorius sentencing: The athlete's wealth and notoriety have provoked a long overdue debate on South African prisons

    'They poured water on, then electrified me...'

    If Oscar Pistorius is sent to jail, his experience will not be that of other inmates
    James Wharton: The former Guard now fighting discrimination against gay soldiers

    The former Guard now fighting discrimination against gay soldiers

    Life after the Army has brought new battles for the LGBT activist James Wharton
    Ebola in the US: Panic over the virus threatens to infect President Obama's midterms

    Panic over Ebola threatens to infect the midterms

    Just one person has died, yet November's elections may be affected by what Republicans call 'Obama's Katrina', says Rupert Cornwell
    Premier League coaches join the RSC to swap the tricks of their trades

    Darling, you were fabulous! But offside...

    Premier League coaches are joining the RSC to learn acting skills, and in turn they will teach its actors to play football. Nick Clark finds out why