The top ten: Stupid car names
John Rentoul is chief political commentator for The Independent on Sunday, and visiting professor at King's College, London, and at Queen Mary University of London. Previously he was chief leader writer for The Independent. He has written a biography of Tony Blair, whom he admired more at the end of his time in office than he did at the beginning.
Sunday 25 August 2013
It was the Nissan Qashqai that did it. The dignity of the Triumph Herald and Austin Ambassador of my childhood finally vanquished by made-up names. As one correspondent, Joe Crowley, said, "When I see Qashqai in my head, it always sounds as 'cash cow' in a Northern Irish accent." Here are 10 more absurd car names.
1. Renault Twingo Nominated by Patrick Hennessy, who also suggested Austin Mini Mayfair and Ford Escort because they were "named after 1970s porn magazines".
2. Mitsubishi Colt Starion With one "r", Stefan Stern reminds us.
3. Kia cee'd Not just random textspeak. Put forward by Leise Cooper, PootBlog and David Nothard.
4. Mazda Bongo Friendee Quite magnificent in its multiple strangeness. Thanks, David Crosbie.
5. Nissan Cedric Popular as taxis in Tokyo, apparently. Nick Reid and others.
6. Dacia Duster Nominated by Steve Evans.
7. Mitsubishi Carisma Thanks to Ian Eveleigh. Car. Isma. Clever? No. A bit like Skoda Superb with added wordplay.
8. Hyundai Getz A nomination from Tom Clancy. In America, Hyundai rhymes with Sunday.
9. Ford Ka Drily witty once. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
10. VW up! Volkswagen tries to make everyone write it in lower case with an exclamation mark. It often fails. Also from Tom Clancy.
Next week: Headlines in the form of questions to which the answer is no
Coming soon: Douglas Adams quotations. Send your suggestions (by 3 September), and ideas for future Top 10s, to email@example.com
Life & Style blogs
Planes go hybrid-electric in important step to greener flight
Boxing Day sales: From Asos to Harrods, the best fashion deals
Healthy living could have prevented half a million cancer cases over last five years
'Tis the season!: Google celebrates Christmas Eve with second animated Doodle
The food fad that's starving Bolivia
British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
Rozanne Duncan: Ukip expels councillor for 'jaw-dropping' comments made in BBC TV interview
Germany anti-Islam protests: 17,000 march on Dresden against 'Islamification of the West'
Ukip member gets into Christmas spirit with Union Flag plea to Santa 'for our country back'
BBC director Danny Cohen: Rising UK antisemitism makes me feel more uncomfortable than ever
Alex Salmond has 'broken his word to the Scottish people' says Scottish Lib Dem leader
- 1 PlayStation and Xbox hacked by Lizard Squad
- 2 Katie Hopkins speaks out on childhood obesity: 'Parents of fat children should be prosecuted for child cruelty'
- 3 The Grace Dent Christmas Questionnaire
- 4 The 'Black Museum': After 150 years, public set to see exhibits from police’s grisly crime museum
- 5 British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
£40000 - £43000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Senior Marketing Executiv...
£40000 - £43000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: An international organisa...
£25000 - £30000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Internal Recruiter -Rugby, Warwicksh...
£70000 - £75000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: Marketing Manager/Marketi...