The top ten: Stupid car names
John Rentoul is chief political commentator for The Independent on Sunday, and visiting professor at Queen Mary, University of London, where he teaches contemporary history. Previously he was chief leader writer for The Independent. He has written a biography of Tony Blair, whom he admired more at the end of his time in office than he did at the beginning.
Sunday 25 August 2013
It was the Nissan Qashqai that did it. The dignity of the Triumph Herald and Austin Ambassador of my childhood finally vanquished by made-up names. As one correspondent, Joe Crowley, said, "When I see Qashqai in my head, it always sounds as 'cash cow' in a Northern Irish accent." Here are 10 more absurd car names.
1. Renault Twingo Nominated by Patrick Hennessy, who also suggested Austin Mini Mayfair and Ford Escort because they were "named after 1970s porn magazines".
2. Mitsubishi Colt Starion With one "r", Stefan Stern reminds us.
3. Kia cee'd Not just random textspeak. Put forward by Leise Cooper, PootBlog and David Nothard.
4. Mazda Bongo Friendee Quite magnificent in its multiple strangeness. Thanks, David Crosbie.
5. Nissan Cedric Popular as taxis in Tokyo, apparently. Nick Reid and others.
6. Dacia Duster Nominated by Steve Evans.
7. Mitsubishi Carisma Thanks to Ian Eveleigh. Car. Isma. Clever? No. A bit like Skoda Superb with added wordplay.
8. Hyundai Getz A nomination from Tom Clancy. In America, Hyundai rhymes with Sunday.
9. Ford Ka Drily witty once. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
10. VW up! Volkswagen tries to make everyone write it in lower case with an exclamation mark. It often fails. Also from Tom Clancy.
Next week: Headlines in the form of questions to which the answer is no
Coming soon: Douglas Adams quotations. Send your suggestions (by 3 September), and ideas for future Top 10s, to email@example.com
Life & Style blogs
Blood test that predicts Alzheimer's disease
Pakistan vs Paul Smith: Sandal-wearers bemused by famed British designer's attempts to sell traditional Peshawari chappal-style shoes for the distinctly untraditional sum of £300
Lego told off by 7-year-old girl for promoting gender stereotypes
Mapping the tubes: The hidden world of undersea cables that make up the internet
Titanfall: Release date, gameplay basics, DLC and everything else you need to know
Britain's top vet sparks controversy with call for ban on slashing animals' throats in 'ritual' slaughters for halal and kosher meat products
Poor 'live like animals' says Boris's privately educated sister after going on 'poverty safari'
Exclusive: Impact of immigrants on British workers ‘negligible’
Vince Cable: Teachers 'know absolutely nothing' about the world of work
Ukraine crisis: Russia pledges to 'retaliate against sanctions' as Ukrainian president says Crimea vote will not be recognised
The quiet diplomat: Catherine Ashton - recognised and admired in all the world’s troubled countries, yet ridiculed at home
- 1 Bad cattitude: Family call police after crazed and 'hostile cat with a history of violence' attacks baby before attempting to 'flee custody'
- 2 Family forced to flee home after discovering 'terrifying' nest of spiders in bananas
- 3 First Kiss: Filmmaker gets 20 strangers to make out on YouTube with awkward results
- 4 Grace Dent: Who cares if she spells it Barraco Barner? Gemma Worrall is more employable than some bookish arts graduate
- 5 Bob Crow death: 'Admired by his members, feared by employers' - Tributes pour in for RMT union leader and 'working class hero' Bob Crow
£20000 - £23000 per annum: Inspiring Interns: Our client specialises in creati...
£30000 - £50000 per annum + Very Competitive Salary: Austen Lloyd: Private Cli...
£30000 - £35000 per annum + Very Competitive Salary: Austen Lloyd: Residential...
£1000 per month: Inspiring Interns: The company works with Tier 1 FTSE 100 Ban...