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The top ten: Stupid car names


It was the Nissan Qashqai that did it. The dignity of the Triumph Herald and Austin Ambassador of my childhood finally vanquished by made-up names. As one correspondent, Joe Crowley, said, "When I see Qashqai in my head, it always sounds as 'cash cow' in a Northern Irish accent." Here are 10 more absurd car names.

1. Renault Twingo Nominated by Patrick Hennessy, who also suggested Austin Mini Mayfair and Ford Escort because they were "named after 1970s porn magazines".

2. Mitsubishi Colt Starion With one "r", Stefan Stern reminds us.

3. Kia cee'd Not just random textspeak. Put forward by Leise Cooper, PootBlog and David Nothard.

4. Mazda Bongo Friendee Quite magnificent in its multiple strangeness. Thanks, David Crosbie.

5. Nissan Cedric Popular as taxis in Tokyo, apparently. Nick Reid and others.

6. Dacia Duster Nominated by Steve Evans.

7. Mitsubishi Carisma Thanks to Ian Eveleigh. Car. Isma. Clever? No. A bit like Skoda Superb with added wordplay.

8. Hyundai Getz A nomination from Tom Clancy. In America, Hyundai rhymes with Sunday.

9. Ford Ka Drily witty once. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

10. VW up! Volkswagen tries to make everyone write it in lower case with an exclamation mark. It often fails. Also from Tom Clancy.

Next week: Headlines in the form of questions to which the answer is no

Coming soon: Douglas Adams quotations. Send your suggestions (by 3 September), and ideas for future Top 10s, to top10@independent.co.uk