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Next week's dilemma

Dear Virginia,

Although I used to be very fond of two old friends of my late mother, more recently I've been driven absolutely insane by them. They really revealed their true colours after she died, sniping about the funeral, never ringing my father, just talking instead about how much money she had left, how she should have taken more exercise and even saying some quite cruel things about her. We have seen this couple since, but they always say something that upsets us.

Despite this, I feel I have to ask them to my wedding, because of what they meant to my mother when she was alive. But my fiance, who has supported me through endless rants about them, is astonished, and says that now is the time to stand up for what I feel and cut them out of my life.

I simply don't know what is the right thing to do.

Yours sincerely,


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Please send any relevant personal experiences or comments to me at the features department, the 'Independent', 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London E14 5DL (fax 0171-293 2182) by Tuesday morning. If you have any dilemmas of your own you would like to share, let me know.