Off the Cuff gems

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Newspaper headlines announcing the execution of King Charles:

Brewers Weekly: King's Head Relocated

Hello!: King Charles Invites Us Into His Lovely Home to Talk About His Rosy Future

The Sport: Elvis Seen in Crowd

The Mirror: Spot the Head and Win a Teletubby

Exchange & Mart: For Sale: One Black Curly Wig, Slightly Frayed at Edges

Movies popular at the Pensioners' Film Club:

Zimmer Holiday

Bill and Ted Excellent Dentures

There's a Girl in My Sanatogen

Bring Me the Truss of Alfredo Garcia

The Meals on Wheels Lady Always Rings Twice.

Who wrote the following autobiographies?:

A Clean Sweep? Sooty

Private Face? Field Marshal Face - the Early Years

Four Acres and a Donkey? Joan Collins - allegedly

Fear of 50? The England Cricket Team

Time on the Grass? President Clinton