CAROLINE JOHNSON, picture researcher: 'Go on an Operation Raleigh trip and you might learn something about management.'
DAVID GOWER, former English cricket captain: The selectors still have the potential to change their minds so I'd like to say, 'If you ever think you have made a mistake you know where I am.'
LIZZY FORBES, museum curator: My boss, who was highly punitive and never gave praise for anything, thought we all went off to the cinema when he went out for the afternoon - which of course we did] So I'd say to him, 'If you expect the worst of people that's exactly what you're going to get.'
MOIRA PATERSON, former Observer sub-editor: Well, I'm in the fortunate position that my ex-boss is in the same position as me - jobless] I'd say 'I hope you fall off the edge of the world]'
MICHAEL WINNER, film director: The two people that have sacked me are now firm friends - I think they were both right so I would have very little to say to them. If you get fired the best thing to do is turn up the next day and keep smiling - they never have the heart to do it a second time.
POLLY PERKINS, plays Trish Valentine in Eldorado: There doesn't seem a lot of point in saying anything to Alan Yentob except that I think he could do with a bit of PR somewhere along the line, and you have to respect what the public wants whether you like it or not. It's not a failed soap it's an axed soap.
JESSICA MITFORD, author: I used to work selling advertisement space in a San Francisco newspaper until the FBI came in and I was fired for being subversive. What I did say to my boss at the time was 'Why did I win two bottles of domestic champagne for exceeding the quota and still get fired?'
MISS X, former departmental secretary: I wish we hadn't spent all those lunch hours in the hotel bedroom.
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