SACHA CAREY, sales assistant: I don't care about her sex life or her sexual fantasies any more than she cares about mine. I'd like to sit her down and force-feed her with my thoughts on men, sex and the meaning of life until she was bored to tears. Then I'd show her all my old holiday snaps, just to show her what it's like having someone else's life rammed down your throat.

MR X, commuter: I don't want to talk about Madonna. If I hear one more word about her I shall puke. I've got a train to catch. Excuse me.

KAREN LESTER, school student, 14: I certainly don't care about her, though my brother still fancies her. I used to like her music, but I've got bored with it. She's a bit of an old hasbeen. I wouldn't pay pounds 25 to see her with no clothes on. And I don't need her to tell me about sex - we have lessons about it at school.

ANNA MASSEY, actress: To be honest, she doesn't interest me. I've never seen her perform, which makes me one of the most out-of-touch people in the universe. Now if Madonna could help the miners . . .

SEAN CLEMENT, mini cab driver: My wife, after a night out at the pub, is better looking than Madonna. But you've got to hand it to her, she puts herself about, gives it everything, and makes a lot of cash. My daughter likes her music, but I wouldn't buy this dirty book for her, she's only 14.

JOHN PEEL, Radio 1 disc jockey: I don't want to let the side down, but I don't think about her much.

MARCUS FRENCH, solicitor: I'd as soon take her advice about relationships as ask a butcher for vegetarian recipes or a Sumo wrestler for tips on flower arranging.

DAVE ASKEW, leather goods manufacturer: I can't bear squeaky women. I don't understand why the media are hyping her so much. We're a small factory, we work with the radio on, and it's been nothing but Madonna this, Madonna that - we're all sick to death of it. There are more important things to cover, like the recession. I neither know nor care if she'll be around in 10 years time. I don't want to waste any more time talking about her.

(Photograph omitted)