Opinions: Whose private number would you like to get hold of?

RHODA KOENIG, writer: I'd ring Virginia Bottomley to ask where she got her nerve, and call up Richard Gere and ask him if he thinks his recent exploits are good publicity for the Dalai Lama.

CAESAR, disc jockey: I'd like to phone Alan Yentob to say ''please put my show back on BBC 1''. But, most of all, perhaps Princess Di would like a call at home to know that I still love her.

KAREN KRIZANOVICH, agony aunt: Gary Larson, the cartoonist who does The Far Side. I've read he's retiring. I'd call him up and be a real sycophantic fan and say, ''please, please, please don't go away, you can't leave us''. Then he'd probably hang up.

OSCAR WATSON, arts festival director: I'd like Stephen Dorrell's number, he's the Minister for Arts, to ask him why the Government won't fund people to train for the arts. Revenue from the lottery is all very well but we need to support those starting out as well.

SIMON FANSHAWE, comedian: It depends whether I'm in a vengeful or a charming mood. I'd get David Mellor's number and tell him to get a facelift, or Michael Heseltine's and just say ''desist!''.

DONNA BASSON, hair stylist: I would like to get Mother Nature's number and call her to ask for some snow at Christmas. Then I'd call God and ask him if I could win the National Lottery. Even winning just a little money would help, I'm not greedy. I'd tell him that I had been good all year and that I deserved it.

DAVE SHELDON, senior art director of Harry Enfield/Mercury phones ad campaign: Ken Pilton, the lottery winner. I would ask him which numbers he's put on his ticket this week and also, could he lend me pounds 50 until pay day.

JUSTIN GREETHAM, graphics/animation producer: If he were alive, I'd want the number of William Fox Talbot to thank him for developing the term ''photography'' because it's great. I'd tell him I've taken on board his advice about the darkroom and it's working beautifully.

LIZ WOODHEAD, teacher: I'd phone Gillian Shephard and berate her for her policies. The education system is being run appallingly and we're like lambs to the slaughter.

JASON WHITE, mobile phone salesman: I'd like Claudia Schiffer's telephone number. If she answered I'd say, ''Can I come round?''

SARAH ALLCOCK, advertising manager: I'd love to ring up Pierce Brosnan but I don't know if I would have the guts. I think I'd ask him to marry me straight away.

TONY KING, company director: Bill Clinton, to say sorry to hear things aren't working out too well at the moment, shame about the health reforms.

ANNABEL McKINNON, housewife: I'd ring Geoff Hamilton and ask if he could tell me what's wrong with my Forsythia.

STEVE, barman: I would love to phone the Chancellor of the Exchequer, cos he's putting 16p on a packet of cigarettes and I want to know why.

Voices
Lucerne’s Hotel Château Gütsch, one of the lots in our Homeless Veterans appeal charity auction
charity appeal
Sport
Raheem Sterling of Liverpool celebrates scoring the opening goal
footballLIVE: Follow all the latest from tonight's Capital One quarter-finals
Life and Style
A woman walks by a pandal art installation entitled 'Mars Mission' with the figure of an astronaut during the Durga Puja festival in Calcutta, India
techHow we’ll investigate the existence of, and maybe move in with, our alien neighbours
Arts and Entertainment
Tony Hughes (James Nesbitt) after his son Olly disappeared on a family holiday in France
tv
PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
News
people

Jo from Northern Ireland was less than impressed by Russell Brand's attempt to stage a publicity stunt

Arts and Entertainment
Sir Ian McKellen tempts the Cookie Monster
tvSir Ian McKellen joins the Cookie Monster for a lesson on temptation
Arts and Entertainment
Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels ride again in Dumb and Dumber To
filmReview: Dumb And Dumber To was a really stupid idea
News
i100
Life and Style
tech
Life and Style
Sebastian Siemiatkowski is the 33-year-old co-founder and CEO of Klarna, which provides a simple way for people to buy things online
tech
Voices
Jimmy Mubenga died after being restrained on an aircraft by G4S escorts
voicesJonathan Cox: Tragedy of Jimmy Mubenga highlights lack of dignity shown to migrants
News
Not quite what they were expecting
news

When teaching the meaning of Christmas backfires

News
i100
Arts and Entertainment
Angelina Jolie and Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal at the Golden Globes in 2011
film
Extras
indybest
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Ashdown Group: Helpdesk Analyst

    £25000 per annum: Ashdown Group: An established media firm based in Surrey is ...

    Ashdown Group: Java Developer - Hertfordshire - £47,000 + bonus + benefits

    £40000 - £470000 per annum + bonus: Ashdown Group: Java Developer / J2EE Devel...

    Ashdown Group: Head of Finance - Financial Director - London - £70,000

    £70000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Head of Finance - Financial Controller - Fina...

    Recruitment Genius: Business Development Executive - Nationwide - OTE £65,000

    £30000 - £65000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This small technology business ...

    Day In a Page

    Jeb Bush vs Hillary Clinton: The power dynamics of the two first families

    Jeb Bush vs Hillary Clinton

    Karen Tumulty explores the power dynamics of the two first families
    Stockholm is rivalling Silicon Valley with a hotbed of technology start-ups

    Scandi crush: Stockholm is rivalling Silicon Valley

    Th Swedish capital is home to two of the most popular video games in the world, as well as thousands of technology start-ups worth hundreds of millions of pounds – and it's all happened since 2009
    La Famille Bélier is being touted as this year's Amelie - so why are many in the deaf community outraged by it?

    Deaf community outraged by La Famille Bélier

    The new film tells the story of a deaf-mute farming family and is being touted as this year's Amelie
    Calls for a military mental health 'quality mark'

    Homeless Veterans campaign

    Expert calls for military mental health 'quality mark'
    Racton Man: Analysis shows famous skeleton was a 6ft Bronze Age superman

    Meet Racton Man

    Analysis shows famous skeleton was a 6ft Bronze Age superman
    Garden Bridge: St Paul’s adds to £175m project’s troubled waters

    Garden Bridge

    St Paul’s adds to £175m project’s troubled waters
    Stuff your own Christmas mouse ornament: An evening class in taxidermy with a festive feel

    Stuff your own Christmas mouse ornament

    An evening class in taxidermy with a festive feel
    Joint Enterprise: The legal doctrine which critics say has caused hundreds of miscarriages of justice

    Joint Enterprise

    The legal doctrine which critics say has caused hundreds of miscarriages of justice
    Freud and Eros: Love, Lust and Longing at the Freud Museum: Objects of Desire

    Freud and Eros

    Love, Lust and Longing at the Freud Museum
    France's Front National and the fear of a ‘gay lobby’ around Marine Le Pen

    Front National fear of ‘gay lobby’

    Marine Le Pen appoints Sébastien Chenu as cultural adviser
    'Enhanced interrogation techniques?' When language is distorted to hide state crimes

    Robert Fisk on the CIA 'torture report'

    Once again language is distorted in order to hide US state wrongdoing
    Radio 1’s new chart host must placate the Swifties and Azaleans

    Radio 1 to mediate between the Swifties and Azaleans

    New chart host Clara Amfo must placate pop's fan armies
    Homeless Veterans appeal: 'It's life, and not the Forces, that gets you'

    Homeless Veterans appeal: 'It's life, and not the Forces, that gets you'

    The head of Veterans Aid on how his charity is changing perceptions of ex-servicemen and women in need
    Torture: It didn't work then, it doesn't work now

    Torture: It didn't work then, it doesn't work now

    Its use is always wrong and, despite CIA justifications post 9/11, the information obtained from it is invariably tainted, argues Patrick Cockburn
    Rebranding Christmas: More public bodies are refusing to give the festival its name for fear of causing offence

    Rebranding Christmas

    More public bodies are refusing to give the festival its name for fear of causing offence. They are missing the point, and we all need to grow up