Opinions: Whose private number would you like to get hold of?

RHODA KOENIG, writer: I'd ring Virginia Bottomley to ask where she got her nerve, and call up Richard Gere and ask him if he thinks his recent exploits are good publicity for the Dalai Lama.

CAESAR, disc jockey: I'd like to phone Alan Yentob to say ''please put my show back on BBC 1''. But, most of all, perhaps Princess Di would like a call at home to know that I still love her.

KAREN KRIZANOVICH, agony aunt: Gary Larson, the cartoonist who does The Far Side. I've read he's retiring. I'd call him up and be a real sycophantic fan and say, ''please, please, please don't go away, you can't leave us''. Then he'd probably hang up.

OSCAR WATSON, arts festival director: I'd like Stephen Dorrell's number, he's the Minister for Arts, to ask him why the Government won't fund people to train for the arts. Revenue from the lottery is all very well but we need to support those starting out as well.

SIMON FANSHAWE, comedian: It depends whether I'm in a vengeful or a charming mood. I'd get David Mellor's number and tell him to get a facelift, or Michael Heseltine's and just say ''desist!''.

DONNA BASSON, hair stylist: I would like to get Mother Nature's number and call her to ask for some snow at Christmas. Then I'd call God and ask him if I could win the National Lottery. Even winning just a little money would help, I'm not greedy. I'd tell him that I had been good all year and that I deserved it.

DAVE SHELDON, senior art director of Harry Enfield/Mercury phones ad campaign: Ken Pilton, the lottery winner. I would ask him which numbers he's put on his ticket this week and also, could he lend me pounds 50 until pay day.

JUSTIN GREETHAM, graphics/animation producer: If he were alive, I'd want the number of William Fox Talbot to thank him for developing the term ''photography'' because it's great. I'd tell him I've taken on board his advice about the darkroom and it's working beautifully.

LIZ WOODHEAD, teacher: I'd phone Gillian Shephard and berate her for her policies. The education system is being run appallingly and we're like lambs to the slaughter.

JASON WHITE, mobile phone salesman: I'd like Claudia Schiffer's telephone number. If she answered I'd say, ''Can I come round?''

SARAH ALLCOCK, advertising manager: I'd love to ring up Pierce Brosnan but I don't know if I would have the guts. I think I'd ask him to marry me straight away.

TONY KING, company director: Bill Clinton, to say sorry to hear things aren't working out too well at the moment, shame about the health reforms.

ANNABEL McKINNON, housewife: I'd ring Geoff Hamilton and ask if he could tell me what's wrong with my Forsythia.

STEVE, barman: I would love to phone the Chancellor of the Exchequer, cos he's putting 16p on a packet of cigarettes and I want to know why.

PROMOTED VIDEO
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebooksA superb mix of recipes serving up the freshest of local produce in a delicious range of styles
Life and Style
ebooksFrom the lifespan of a slug to the distance to the Sun: answers to 500 questions from readers
Arts and Entertainment
Benedict Cumberbatch is reported to be in final negotiations to play Doctor Strange for Marvel although the casting has not yet been confirmed
film
Arts and Entertainment
Alloysious Massaquoi, 'G' Hastings and Kayus Bankole of Young Fathers are the surprise winners of this year's Mercury Music Prize
musicThe surprise winners of the Mercury Prize – and a very brief acceptance speech
Arts and Entertainment
TV Presenters Ant McPartlin and Dec Donnelly. Winners of the 'Entertainment Programme' award for 'Ant and Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway'
musicAnt and Dec confirmed as hosts of next year's Brit Awards
Arts and Entertainment
Orson Welles made Citizen Kane at 25, and battled with Hollywood film studios thereafter
film
News
video
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    English Teacher

    £100 - £125 per day: Randstad Education Chelmsford: English Teacher - Saffron ...

    Primary Supply Teacher - Northants

    £90 - £130 per day: Randstad Education Leicester: Primary School Supply Teache...

    Maths Teacher

    £21000 - £35000 per day: Randstad Education Chelmsford: Maths Teacher - Saffro...

    Chemistry Teacher - Top School in Malaysia - January Start

    £18000 - £20400 per annum + Accommodation, Flights, Medical Cover: Randstad Ed...

    Day In a Page

    Isis in Syria: A general reveals the lack of communication with the US - and his country's awkward relationship with their allies-by-default

    A Syrian general speaks

    A senior officer of Bashar al-Assad’s regime talks to Robert Fisk about his army’s brutal struggle with Isis, in a dirty war whose challenges include widespread atrocities
    ‘A bit of a shock...’ Cambridge economist with Glasgow roots becomes Zambia’s acting President

    ‘A bit of a shock...’ Economist with Glasgow roots becomes Zambia’s acting President

    Guy Scott's predecessor, Michael Sata, died in a London hospital this week after a lengthy illness
    Fall of the Berlin Wall: History catches up with Erich Honecker - the East German leader who praised the Iron Curtain and claimed it prevented a Third World War

    Fall of the Berlin Wall

    History catches up with Erich Honecker - the East German leader who praised the Iron Curtain and claimed it prevented a Third World War
    How to turn your mobile phone into easy money

    Turn your mobile phone into easy money

    There are 90 million unused mobiles in the UK, which would be worth £7bn if we cashed them in, says David Crookes
    Independent writers remember their Saturday jobs:

    Independent writers remember their Saturday jobs

    "I have never regarded anything I have done in "the media" as a proper job"
    Lyricist Richard Thomas shares his 11-step recipe for creating a hit West End musical

    11-step recipe for creating a West End hit

    Richard Thomas, the lyricist behind the Jerry Springer and Anna Nicole Smith operas, explains how Bob Dylan, 'Breaking Bad' and even Noam Chomsky inspired his songbook for the new musical 'Made in Dagenham'
    Tonke Dragt's The Letter for the King has finally been translated into English ... 50 years on

    Buried treasure: The Letter for the King

    The coming-of-age tale about a boy and his mission to save a mythical kingdom has sold a million copies since it was written by an eccentric Dutchwoman in 1962. Yet until last year, no one had read it in English
    Can instilling a sense of entrepreneurship in pupils have a positive effect on their learning?

    The school that means business

    Richard Garner heads to Lancashire, where developing the 'dragons' of the future is also helping one community academy to achieve its educational goals
    10 best tablets

    The world in your pocket: 10 best tablets

    They’re thin, they’re light, you can use them for work on the move or keeping entertained
    Lutz Pfannenstiel: The goalkeeper who gave up Bayern Munich for the Crazy Gang, Bradford and a whirlwind trawl across continents

    Lutz Pfannenstiel interview

    The goalkeeper who gave up Bayern Munich for the Crazy Gang, Bradford and a whirlwind trawl across continents
    Pete Jenson: Popular Jürgen Klopp can reignite Borussia Dortmund’s season with visit to Bayern Munich

    Pete Jenson's a Different League

    Popular Klopp can reignite Dortmund’s season with visit to Bayern
    John Cantlie video proves that Isis expects victory in Kobani

    Cantlie video proves that Isis expects victory in Kobani

    The use of the British hostage demonstrates once again the militants' skill and originality in conducting a propaganda war, says Patrick Cockburn
    The killer instinct: The man who helps students spot potential murderers

    The killer instinct

    Phil Chalmers travels the US warning students how to spot possible future murderers, but can his contentious methods really stop the bloodshed?
    Clothing the gap: A new exhibition celebrates women who stood apart from the fashion herd

    Clothing the gap

    A new exhibition celebrates women who stood apart from the fashion herd
    Fall of the Berlin Wall: Goodbye to all that - the lost world beyond the Iron Curtain

    The Fall of the Berlin Wall

    Goodbye to all that - the lost world beyond the Iron Curtain