"My dear boy. If I achieve one thing through this column it will be the eradication of swirly lace tights. They are foul things that should be foisted upon only the most unfortunate of women, perhaps as a punishment for adultery, in countries that still punish for such things. If you love your girlfriend, nay, boy, even if you like her, do not, I beg you, buy her novelty tights. Words like frivolous, playful and frilly may come to your mind, but words such as naff, passe and Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink are the only words that come to mine when I think of such hosiery."
annie, May 1996