If we were opening a topless go-go joint, I would understand. But all we are planning is some jazz on a Sunday lunchtime.

Restaurateur Christopher Booker, on the Duke of Kent's objection to a jazz band at The Avenue restaurant, Times

Crash is a kind of blueprint for the year 2000.

J G Ballard, author of the book of the controversial film, Dazed and Confused

I didn't know I was painting sinister-looking people until I was told. I thought they were completely normal. I started experimenting with smiles recently, but unfortunately they look worse than the ones that aren't smiling.

Graham Knuttel, painter admired by Sylvester Stallone, Telegraph

Just taking a train through the English countryside and seeing giant expanses with power lines and billboards makes me want to leap off and run into a farmhouse and say, "Please adopt me!"

Daniel Clowes, American cartoonist and creator of the alternative comic Eightball, Guardian

I run to the loo and write down priceless remarks.

Jackie Collins, author and Hollywood party-goer, on literary inspiration, Telegraph

There are a lot of Romeos and Juliets in Bosnia.

Haris Silajdzic, co-prime minister of Bosnia- Herzegovina, on The Exodus, a love story he wants to film there, New Yorker

I wanted to study the classics and it wasn't possible there, so I left and became a trainee supermarket manager.

Colin Andress, University Challenge winner from Magdalen College Oxford, on why he dropped out of school, Telegraph

Beckett via Macintosh.

David Bowie, on how he devises his "cut-up" lyrics on computer, Jack Docherty Show, C5