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Most of the reviews are for people who read reviews. The written word is going the way of the dinosaur. Look around here, people get information from the electronic media.

Bruce Willis, at the Cannes Film Festival, responding to Variety's dire review of his new film, The Fifth Element (and showing little knowledge of this year's jury, which includes Michael Ondaatje and Paul Auster)

I want to talk to you about the whole doughnut situation. The doughnuts suck there. And the scones.

Willis, asked how he had found filming at Pinewood Studios

It is a mistake ... to fall into the view that Europe is only the ante- room of the place where the party is.

Jan Sverak, director of Oscar-winning Kolya, on making films in Europe not America, Guardian

The first girl I had was no good, she couldn't do it. Then I got this smashing girl who could; it probably broke her back.

Euan Uglow, who required his model to pose, for two years, as a `Pyramid', Spectator

It reminds me of crashing my Fiat Uno a few years ago. I was singing along to it when I drove into the back of another car.

Spice Girl Geri on Salt `N' Pepa's "Let's Talk About Sex", Sun

Everyone gets compared to the Beatles but I don't mind because at least I was lucky enough to have been in the Beatles.

Paul McCartney on his new album, Flaming Pie, Express on Sunday

A woman getting to cry like that for 16 days on end - it does wonders.

Drew Barrymore, on filming Scream, Time Out