Nobody is a hopeless cause, but she is as near as you can get. You can't reach for the media like a box of Kleenex.

PR man Mark Borkovsky on the Duchess of York

London Evening Standard

It's exceedingly well made, you can't take that away. If you are asking me personally whether I enjoyed the film, I can be quite honest, I could live without it ... but then I am a senior citizen.

Councillor John Bull, sub- committee chairman of Westminster City Council, after the banning of Crash from West End cinemas.

Daily Telegraph

He had a bohemian streak that surfaced at the oddest of times. He was very fond of the rock band Earth, Wind and Fire and had most of their records ... He also enjoyed smoking pot. He smoked a joint while waiting to receive his award at the Baftas. He loved the idea that it was illegal.

John Le Mesurier's widow Joan, on a lesser-known aspect of the late actor, Loaded

I know I should like Bootsy Collins and I know that bassists should be funky, but I have no funk in me at all. I think maybe if I'd studied funk I could maybe copy the style but I can't feel it. I'm terribly white. I can't hang.

Keanu Reeves, actor, on being the bassist in his grunge-pop band, Dogstar,

A show that features mainly me.

Ulrika Jonsson, TV personality, on what she wants to do next

Radio Times

The reason you're drawn to comedy in the first place ... is that you reject life ... Stand-up is the only sane thing I can do in such an insane world.

Ardal O'Hanlon, comic (and Dougal in Father Ted),

Radio Times

You discover fame isn't enough. It can be cocaine, heron, marijuana, Patsy Kensit or a gun, in the case of Kurt Cobain. It's all about trying to fill the holes in your life.

Boy George, ex-pop star, after nine drug-free years, Guardian