You don't f--- with Ascot, so you shouldn't f--- with the Royal Academy Summer Show.

Karsten Schubert, gallery owner and representative of Turner Prize winner Rachel Whiteread, on the RA's controversial plans to encourage the avant-garde, Guardian

[I felt] physically ill at the sight of Edward James's self-multilation.

Jim Davidson, comedian, on why he sent home a stagehand who practises body-piercing, Stage

I think it is quite ironic considering his show opens with a sex scene with a sheep.

Edward James, said stagehand, ibid.

We're very popular. It's not as if we're the Thargs from Transylvania.

John Edwards, bass player with Status Quo, on news that the group's new single is not to be played on Radio 1, Guardian

The first time I set eyes on her, I knew I'd found my God.

John Doyle, director of this year's York Mystery Plays, on casting 63-year-old Ruth Ford in the leading role, Daily Telegraph

I wanted something I could get my teeth into. Actually, I had a strong feeling for Lucifer.

Ruth Ford herself, ibid.

Why did I do it? Because they offered me a disgusting amount of money. Shame!

Charlton Heston, film star, on why he accepted a starring role in The Colbys, Radio Times

You would never see her in a track suit.

Dora Bryan, actress, pays tribute to the late Evelyn "Boo" Laye, Telegraph

I feel like I have only one hand to do my work. I used to have two.

Dith Pran, journalist and Khmer Rouge survivor, on the death of Haing Ngor, the actor who portrayed Pran in The Killing Fields, Times

Even John Tydeman, who retired somewhat vociferously in 1994 after a lifetime's dedicated service to radio drama, eight years as its head ("They assure me they're eager to manure the seedlings of talent, but I fear they mean to shit on them") - even he had admiration and affection for Liz. So why is she going?

Joan Bakewell, broadcaster, on Liz Forgan's resignation, Spectator

Comments