Thursday 04 June 1998
After long negotiations
And examining of rules
Then the forming of a quango
On the Euro family jewels
Came a tangle over measures
And a wrangle over weights
On the minimum requirement
For the leading member states
The Belgian chairman uttered
"It's as broad as it is long."
While a British colleague sputtered,
"Then you're measuring it wrong
With inaccuracies legion
We must look to a Norwegian
Since they gain in certain areas
What they seem to lack in song."
Then a Danish spokesman stated
That it made him rather proud
Of his fellow Scandinavians
But it shouldn't be allowed
Since it might dismay Italians
Who as European stallions
Must maintain a reputation
For being trouserly endowed
So the conversation covered
Every facet and position
Might the teat need reassessing
For a standardised emission?
And the ribbing calibrations?
Should they leave them as they are?
What about the lubrication?
Could they stretch a point too far?
But the one thing they agreed on
As a Euro pre-condition
Was that cellophane on packets
Should remain to blight coition
So that European lovers
Irrespective of their nation
End up cursing in the darkness
On the brink of copulation
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