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Anyone who joins a job where emotionally disturbing experiences are part of their work should get nothing at all for being emotionally disturbed.

Shadow Health Secretary Ann Widdecombe on the "compensation culture"

My parents were convinced that I would one day become Mr Average, but almost 30 years on I am still an A1 freak.

Boy George

Male politicians get away with being far more scruffy, ugly and overweight than female politicians, which annoys me.

Liberal Democrat MP Jackie Ballard

Forget the questions. Here are the answers: The longest peacetime expansion in history. No, I didn't watch it. No, I haven't read it.

President Bill Clinton, joking in advance of his first solo press conference in almost a year

Clinton got elected to get laid, his wife to get power. He wanted to see what he got on the rope-line. And look what he did get.

Lucianne Goldberg, the woman who triggered the Monica Lewinsky scandal

Isn't Kosovo a chain of gas stations?

Woman on US talk radio station

I feel for eight minutes on stage I should only get a little bit of him.

Dame Judi Dench on her Oscar for Best Supporting Actress

If people saw more cycles parked among the Rolls-Royces outside the House of Lords they would realise this place is not full of rich idlers.

Lord Avebury, after officials removed his bicycle from outside the Palace of Westminster