`She turned her awkwardness into elegance'

As little girls we idolised Diana, but we grew up to understand her, says Melanie Rickey

Diana, Princess of Wales, was for many British women, myself included, the glamorous friend who was constantly around, but always just beyond reach. We admired and occasionally envied her, but understood that for her too, life was not perfect. Her influence on my youth was natural and total. She was a beautiful, fairy-tale princess who had the world at her feet. At the age of 10 I announced to my mother that the key to my happiness was a Lady Di haircut and a blouse with a pie-crust collar. She complied, dutifully taking me to C&A for the blouse, and the local salon for the haircut. Eventually, both my sister and mother had similar haircuts.

This week it has become clear that she affected us all profoundly, subliminally even. We all have our own individual memories, things that affected the way we lived, the way we dressed, and how we did our hair. I'm 25 now and feel that one of the most important gifts Diana gave us is the confidence to be stronger women, to stand up for ourselves and be counted, and also to look good doing it. After all why shouldn't we? I'm not alone. Natasha Hill, 24, a painter, has similar recollections. She grew up on the island of Jersey and now lives and works in east London.

"My first memory of Diana must have been when I was about six, she was getting into the red Metro and being asked about Charles. Her marriage was the first monumental event of my life. We were in France on holiday. At the time all my icons were American creations like Wonder Woman and Superman, but then she came along and made me feel a sense of pride at being British. I was so young, but I do remember being amazed by her.

"When I was 11 I went to the hairdresser and said "can I have a Lady Di?". He knew exactly what I wanted. I went from a blonde straight haired, pig-tailed kid to being really grown-up looking, with a short layered hairdo. All my school friends had the same haircut. Looking back I think she was our heroine because she was so innocent. I also feel she gave dimension to all our learning experiences. While we were changing she was changing.

"I never tried to copy her looks, but people always used to say I looked like her during my early 20s. It only lasted a couple of years until I grew my hair. I didn't follow her style literally, but I found the way she carried herself amazing. She was so poised, with a lovely smile. Her gestures were very welcoming, I suppose this allowed us to love her without reproach.

"I'm not conventionally attractive, but the way she presented herself gave me the confidence to look good myself. She turned all her awkwardness into elegance. I will miss her, it's weird, we have seen her whole story; it is now complete and it's tragic."

In contrast, women in their mid to late 30s had the opportunity to understand Diana from the beginning of her public life. Initially for Charlotte Edwards there was empathy, and latterly her influence came to be inspirational. Edwards, now 39, is a singer and songwriter. Recently she has given up the day job, and is devoting her time to organising `An Evening for Tibet', to highlight the Chinese invasion and occupation of that beautiful, gentle country.

"I come from a similar background to Diana, and was brought up to understand what the Royal Family is about. She was joining an establishment that she didn't really understand, and I felt for her. I can't honestly say she influenced the way I looked. In fact, early on she looked rather frumpy. I do remember she had an individual look. When she hooked up with designers such as Bruce Oldfield she began to get it together.

"The only outfit I remember well was the black cocktail dress she wore on the night Prince Charles admitted his affair with Camilla. Even then it was the way she wore it, with complete confidence.

I empathised with Diana, both as a woman in her 30s, and as somebody trying to make a difference - to make changes against the odds. She was a warrior. Her sense of style over the past five or six years really came together.

In general, women in their mid-thirties wear things for themselves. We have an inner confidence about what works, and are able to wear it with panache. She used her womanly traits to the maximum. When I'm in business meetings I do dress to feel like a warrior, it is about empowerment. I feel it's something you learn as you grow older, and it is most certainly something I have learned. Her appeal crossed all boundaries. When she was in Angola she said `all I'm trying to do is help', and that sums her up. I want to help too, which is why I have organised this evening for the Tibetans next week."

For today's teenagers the story is very different. Diana had been a constant in their lives, and most have not only grown up without the taboos surrounding HIV and Aids, but also feeling an empathy with Princes William and Harry, who are closer in age to them. Katherine Angell is 15, the same age as Prince William, and is studying for GCSEs in her home town, Dover. Her feelings are representative of the next generation, and place our own in context. "I remember thinking she was very attractive, but I could not relate to her style. She always looked very respectable, though. I used to get bored seeing her all the time in the press, it seemed she only had to buy an ice-cream and it would be on the front page. But I do feel sorry for the princes. They have lost their mother, I cannot imagine what that would be like. My mum tells me how much she did for Aids awareness, but in my life Aids has always been around and acceptable. My main sadness is for William, I worry about him being king. She loved them so much and that really came across, what will they do without her?"