The diary of Emma D May: Doctorin' the house

Sunday 12.01am: Am not going out, am not going out, am not going out. V ill. Stomach upset, chest and throat infections, lots of antibiotics. Dr Jones is v worried, prescribing cocktail of legal drugs. Nearly said: "Listen mate, I put so much other shit in my body I don't think a few antibiotics are going to hurt." Sick of Richard and Judy, but Countdown score improving. Throat too sore to smoke anything but Silk Cut Ultra (have to smoke 60 a day to get any nicotine). Still, feeling better now. So much better, almost tempted to go out. Good job have got such strong will power.

12.05am: Flick through TV. Two crap films or repeat of yesterday's Top of the Pops. Am not in any way tempted to go out.

12.06am: Anna rings from club. Drum 'n' bass pounding. "It's brilliant," she shouts. "Get over." "I'm ill," I say, pathetically. "Can't possibly come out. See you tomorrow."

12.15am: Cab. Just head up to club, say hello to a few people. Don't have to take drugs, do I? Have a coke and listen to music in chill-out room. Just what the doctor ordered.

12.16am: Feel a bit poorly. Mind over matter, Emma.

12.45am: Music is brilliant. Anna is walking Health Promotion campaign: Ecstasy Really Screws You Up. Vikram's taken a pill. He never takes pills. He's all cheery and smiley and he rugs.

1.00am: Music actually a bit fast. Everyone else really into it. Thousands of people writhing and leaping, hands raised to heaven - look like cult members at weird ceremony. What the fuck is going on? Suddenly feel like when I was 12 and sitting in Mass, as usual, and suddenly realised: There Is No God. Realise, ecstasy is to Britain what soma was to Brave New World. Is all a plot by the Tories.

1.50am: Order pint and try to chill. Roll a spliff, for Dylan. Can't find him, so smoke it for him. Skinny bloke called Jarvis asks if I'm "sorted for Es and whizz". I pause. "Yes, thank you," I say in tiny voice.

2.15am: Group of Crusties want to know what meaning of life is. Tell them to write to Guardian "Notes and Queries" like other sad fuckers. Spot Tinky Winky sloping off with blonde boy. Sure he is about 14. Dylan on dance floor in silly floppy hat, raving like man possessed. Feel worried about D for first time. And Anna, who has almost chewed her lip off. What if the speed's been cut with Persil Automatic? What if Vikram's allergic and dies and parents have to dedicate rest of lives to fight against Class As in the manner of Mr and Mrs Betts and evil clubbers name pills after him? "Ere you go mate, 'ave a Vikram." Will enrol to become drugs counsellor tomorrow. Roll another spliff absent- mindedly.

3.00am: Feel feverish. Want to go home, but hate being stoned on night buses, which are freaky enough anyway.

4.00am: Anna says we're going to leave any minute. Throw up. One of the Crusties looking more and more like Dr Jones. "Sorry, doctor," I am saying in my head, "but, I have learned my lesson - I am becoming a drugs counsellor."

4.30am: Tinky Winky says we're definitely leaving because blonde boy's got school orchestra practice at 10am.

5.30am: Anna re-directs cab to all-night club/bar. Too tired to protest.

5.31am: "You look knackered," says Anna. "Have some speed." Sorry Dr Jones.

Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookNow available in paperback
ebooks
ebookA delicious collection of 50 meaty main courses
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Recruitment Genius: Professional Sales Trainee - B2B

    £15000 - £30000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: First things first - for the av...

    Recruitment Genius: Creative Web and UI Designer

    £30000 - £35000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An experienced creative web and...

    Recruitment Genius: Web Developer - PHP

    £17000 - £24000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An exciting opportunity is now ...

    Recruitment Genius: Account Executive - Graduate / Entry Level

    £22000 - £27500 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This digital advertising infras...

    Day In a Page

    On your feet! Spending at least two hours a day standing reduces the risk of heart attacks, cancer and diabetes, according to new research

    On your feet!

    Spending half the day standing 'reduces risk of heart attacks and cancer'
    Liverpool close in on Milner signing

    Liverpool close in on Milner signing

    Reds baulk at Christian Benteke £32.5m release clause
    With scores of surgeries closing, what hope is there for the David Cameron's promise of 5,000 more GPs and a 24/7 NHS?

    The big NHS question

    Why are there so few new GPs when so many want to study medicine?
    Big knickers are back: Thongs ain't what they used to be

    Thongs ain't what they used to be

    Big knickers are back
    Thurston Moore interview

    Thurston Moore interview

    On living in London, Sonic Youth and musical memoirs
    In full bloom

    In full bloom

    Floral print womenswear
    From leading man to Elephant Man, Bradley Cooper is terrific

    From leading man to Elephant Man

    Bradley Cooper is terrific
    In this the person to restore our trust in the banks?

    In this the person to restore our trust in the banks?

    Dame Colette Bowe - interview
    When do the creative juices dry up?

    When do the creative juices dry up?

    David Lodge thinks he knows
    The 'Cher moment' happening across fashion just now

    Fashion's Cher moment

    Ageing beauty will always be more classy than all that booty
    Thousands of teenage girls enduring debilitating illnesses after routine school cancer vaccination

    Health fears over school cancer jab

    Shock new Freedom of Information figures show how thousands of girls have suffered serious symptoms after routine HPV injection
    Fifa President Sepp Blatter warns his opponents: 'I forgive everyone, but I don't forget'

    'I forgive everyone, but I don't forget'

    Fifa president Sepp Blatter issues defiant warning to opponents
    Extreme summer temperatures will soon cause deaths of up to 1,700 more Britons a year, says government report

    Weather warning

    Extreme summer temperatures will soon cause deaths of up to 1,700 more Britons a year, says government report
    LSD: Speaking to volunteer users of the drug as trials get underway to see if it cures depression and addiction

    High hopes for LSD

    Meet the volunteer users helping to see if it cures depression and addiction
    German soldier who died fighting for UK in Battle of Waterloo should be removed from museum display and given dignified funeral, say historians

    Saving Private Brandt

    A Belgian museum's display of the skeleton of a soldier killed at Waterloo prompts calls for him to be given a dignified funeral