Heather is an endearingly down-to-earth Shaman who can boast Gossard, Shell and Hasbro as her clients. But getting these companies to admit her influence is difficult ("they're embarrassed"). She, however, is prepared to spill the beans. For pounds 1,000 a day she puts her corporate clients in touch with their inner goddess by replacing their boardroom rituals with her own. Gossard realised they were being too aggressive - Eva Herzigova's pert perfections were attracting men and terrifying women. Heather decided they needed a more receptive creative energy to "find the soul of their product". (In the past, she's helped Saatchi & Saatchi locate the spirit of Oil of Ulay, and toy manufacturer Hasbro find the soul in Sindy.) Her first task at Gossard was ridding the office of male vibes by burning sage and eagle feathers. (The female staff were deemed by Heather to have too much macho energy.) Then she asked the group to dance barefoot "around their bones" to feel the earth's energy throbbing beneath their feet while she played five shamanic rhythms on a tape recorder.
Next up was a Medicine Walk on Clapham Common, where they were instructed to read the signs of nature (discarded bus tickets mean you're on a journey; a dead branch signifies that you're facing an obstacle). "I get them to ask trees questions, and then observe what's going on around them. If they're sitting on a patch of nettles, that is the answer." Heather also suggests new ways of dressing: "When men wear ties, they're symbolically decapitating themselves." Her mission is to put the head back in touch with the heart. And, at Gossard, it worked: all those feathers and bus tickets led to the campaign featuring Sophie Anderton lying in a field with the catchline: "Who said a woman can't get pleasure from something soft?"
Heather will also perform ceremonies for individuals, and charges a minimum fee of pounds 200. And as her previous incarnation was as a stage manager and theatre director, you can guarantee she will put on a good show. So ring Moon Owl now, she's available for "weddings, funerals, divorces, christenings and rites of passage". What, no barmitzvahs?
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