Theatre: My night with a well-made, unsurprising drama

THERE ARE, heaven knows, enough badly made plays around that it seems positively wasteful to start complaining about the well-made ones - we ought to be petting and nurturing them. But half the trouble with Kevin Elyot's The Day I Stood Still - his first play since My Night with Reg - is precisely that it is so well made, stifled by its own technical proficiency and symmetry.

To be fair to Elyot, he does do his best to disrupt your sense of order, through a jumping, irregular time-scheme. The play comes in three parts. (In the programme, Elyot refers to its three "movements", quoting Walter Pater's line that "All art constantly aspires towards the condition of music", which suggests that the play is conceived of in symphonic terms.)

The first part introduces us to Horace, a small, shy man somewhere in his thirties, and establishes that his whole life has been overshadowed by his passion for Jerry, an old schoolfriend who is now dead. The second part takes us forward 13 years or so: Jimi, Jerry's 17-year-old son (and Horace's godson), turns up unannounced at Horace's flat - he has run away from school after the failure of a love affair which threatens to overshadow his whole life. The final part flashes back to an afternoon in the Sixties, when the teenage Horace declared his love to Jerry. A tiny coda has the grown-up Horace opening the windows of his flat and breathing in fresh air - a final modulation into a major key.

There are a number of incidental pleasures. Elyot is an adroit comic technician, and he marshals the laughs impressively - punchlines are deftly set up and knocked down, and there are a couple of smartly inserted running jokes (one about a chair with a leg that falls off, the other about a deafeningly loud bell that blots out conversation in Horace's flat every hour). Ian Rickson's production at the Cottesloe is consistently well- paced and well-acted, with Adrian Scarborough outstanding as the adult Horace, all twitchy vulnerability to begin with, but gaining a veneer of self- confidence with age. He is matched impressively by Callum Dixon as the adolescent Horace, touchingly awkward and desperate with pent-up longing for the rangy, glamorous Jerry (Oliver Milburn). At one level there's little room for complaint, and if it's simply a pleasant, not-too- demanding night out at the theatre you're after, The Day I Stood Still has much to recommend it.

But if there's little room for complaint, there's even less room for surprise, or ambiguity, or wonderment. Every revelation is telegraphed, every incident has its tidy mirror-image. In the first scene, Horace is visited at his flat by a male prostitute, Terence, who keeps on insisting that he's met him before, and you just know you're going to find out where. Sure enough, in the final episode Horace's flat is invaded by a working- class youth who announces that his name is Terence - a revelation that leaves you with a sense of relief that we've finally got it over with. Horace talks of how he lost a treasured chain given him by Jerry; and only a fool would lay odds against him finding it again. Which he does. Perhaps art does aspire to the condition of music; but theatre should never feel so orchestrated.

It doesn't help that the sympathy Elyot extends to Horace and Jimi doesn't reach any of the other characters. Jimi's mother, Judy (Catherine Bennett) is a shrill sitcom harpy - in the final scene, when she's the teenage Jerry's first proper girlfriend, she's an absurdly pretentious hippy-chick who even Jerry laughs at. Terence (Jake Wood) is a caricature prole - after a brief encounter with Judy's French boyfriend, he dismisses him with the words "Fucking frogs." Still, even Terence has, we gather, been marked by passion, just like Horace and Jimi; Judy's relationships with men, we gather, are all fleeting and shallow. The casual dismissal of these other lives lightens the play in the wrong way. Smooth and weightless, it leaves little impression.

This is not something you could say of the RSC's heavy, rough-edged staging of The Mysteries. Katie Mitchell's production, using a text put together by Edward Kemp, opened in Stratford a year ago as two plays, The Creation and The Passion, which drew on a variety of medieval sources to present not an authentically medieval experience, but a modern response to them - to uncover the themes that bind together modern Christianity and the medieval version.

At the Pit, the two plays have been amalgamated into one six-hour play, and their rationale has changed drastically. While the first part remains a more or less faithful retelling of the Bible stories - the Creation, the Fall, the Flood - once the Cities of the Plain have been destroyed, things start to change. Episodes from the Old Testament start to blur into one another (for example, Moses, having laid down the Commandments, settles down to the business of anointing Saul king of Israel, which the Bible leaves to the prophet Samuel), and into the modern world. The cast discard their Forties-style austere suits and frocks for something more up-to-date; guns appear, and the slaughter and rapine that characterise so much of the Old Testament are overlaid with oblique - well, not very oblique - references to Bosnia. The Messiah arrives in a bleak landscape peopled by terrorists, secret policemen and informers, and preaches a gospel of freedom - nothing about eternal life here. The holy sepulchre is a mass grave, a heap of fly-blown corpses; and if Jesus's body is missing, nobody notices.

This is no longer a modern response to the medieval plays, but an attempt to write a modern equivalent: to tell the story of Christ in absolutely contemporary terms, swearing and all.

There are many aspects to praise. Again, the acting is uniformly excellent - though by far the most memorable part is David Ryall's avuncular God, chortling with delight at his own ingenuity as he creates the world, growing more harrowed and less hopeful with every new disappointment, as humanity pursues its career of destruction. The Flood is represented by old postcards fluttering down from the ceiling, leaving behind a sea of dead and forgotten faces (I picked one up in the interval from Margate in August 1947: "Dear Auntie, We are all having a nice time with lovely weather ...").

But the pacing is horribly uneven - there are long stretches when you really do feel you're watching eternity unroll before your eyes - and the updating clumsy. One thing I realised while watching is that effing and blinding, like telling jokes, is a gift: some people just can't do it. And while Kemp strives for directness and clarity in the theological argument, much of it dissolves in naive and cliched pieties. The play aims to discomfort you spiritually, and has a measure of success: an elderly man leaving the theatre just behind me was complaining that it had been "a travesty of everything I believe". But seeing talent and intelligence throwing itself away - that is really unsettling.

'The Day I Stood Still': Cottesloe, SE1 (0171 928 2252), to May. 'The Mysteries': The Pit, EC2 (0171 638 8891), to 4 Apr.

Alexis Sanchez has completed a £35m move to Arsenal, the club have confirmed
sportGunners complete £35m signing of Barcelona forward
Poor teachers should be fearful of not getting pay rises or losing their job if they fail to perform, Steve Fairclough, headteacher of Abbotsholme School, suggested
voicesChris Sloggett explains why it has become an impossible career path
world cup 2014
Ray Whelan was arrested earlier this week
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Life and Style
ebookA wonderful selection of salads, starters and mains featuring venison, grouse and other game
Arts and Entertainment
In a minor key: Keira Knightley in the lightweight 'Begin Again'
Arts and Entertainment
Celebrated children’s author Allan Ahlberg, best known for Each Peach Pear Plum
peopleIndian actress known as the 'Grand Old Lady of Bollywood' was 102
Wayne’s estate faces a claim for alleged copyright breaches
newsJohn Wayne's heirs duke it out with university over use of the late film star's nickname
Life and Style
It beggars belief: the homeless and hungry are weary, tortured, ghosts of people – with bodies contorted by imperceptible pain
lifeRough sleepers exist in every city. Hear the stories of those whose luck has run out
Mick Jagger performing at Glastonbury
Life and Style
fashionJ Crew introduces triple zero size to meet the Asia market demand
Santi Cazorla, Mikel Arteta and Mathieu Flamini of Arsenal launch the new Puma Arsenal kits at the Puma Store on Carnaby Street
sportMassive deal worth £150m over the next five years
Arts and Entertainment
Welsh opera singer Katherine Jenkins
musicHolyrood MPs 'staggered' at lack of Scottish artists performing
Life and Style
beautyBelgian fan lands L'Oreal campaign after being spotted at World Cup
Arts and Entertainment
Currently there is nothing to prevent all-male or all-female couples from competing against mixed sex partners at any of the country’s ballroom dancing events
Potential ban on same-sex partners in ballroom dancing competitions amounts to 'illegal discrimination'
Travel Shop
the manor
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on city breaks Find out more
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on chic beach resorts Find out more
sardina foodie
Up to 70% off luxury travel
on country retreats Find out more
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs General

    Business Analyst Consultant (Financial Services)

    £60000 - £75000 per annum: Harrington Starr: Business Analyst Consultant (Fina...

    Systems Administrator - Linux / Unix / Windows / TCP/IP / SAN

    £60000 per annum: Harrington Starr: A leading provider in investment managemen...

    AVS, JVS Openlink Endur Developer

    £600 - £700 per day: Harrington Starr: AVS, JVS Openlink Endur Developer JVS, ...

    E-Commerce Developer

    £45000 - £60000 per annum + competitive: Progressive Recruitment: Exciting opp...

    Day In a Page

    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: Peace without magnanimity - the summit in a railway siding that ended the fighting

    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

    Peace without magnanimity - the summit in a railway siding that ended the fighting
    Scottish independence: How the Commonwealth Games could swing the vote

    Scottish independence: How the Commonwealth Games could swing the vote

    In the final part of our series, Chris Green arrives in Glasgow - a host city struggling to keep the politics out of its celebration of sport
    Out in the cold: A writer spends a night on the streets and hears the stories of the homeless

    A writer spends a night on the streets

    Rough sleepers - the homeless, the destitute and the drunk - exist in every city. Will Nicoll meets those whose luck has run out
    Striking new stations, high-speed links and (whisper it) better services - the UK's railways are entering a new golden age

    UK's railways are entering a new golden age

    New stations are opening across the country and our railways appear to be entering an era not seen in Britain since the early 1950s
    Conchita Wurst becomes a 'bride' on the Paris catwalk - and proves there is life after Eurovision

    Conchita becomes a 'bride' on Paris catwalk

    Alexander Fury salutes the Eurovision Song Contest winner's latest triumph
    Pétanque World Championship in Marseilles hit by

    Pétanque 'world cup' hit by death threats

    This year's most acrimonious sporting event took place in France, not Brazil. How did pétanque get so passionate?
    Whelks are healthy, versatile and sustainable - so why did we stop eating them in the UK?

    Why did we stop eating whelks?

    Whelks were the Victorian equivalent of the donor kebab and our stocks are abundant. So why do we now export them all to the Far East?
    10 best women's sunglasses

    In the shade: 10 best women's sunglasses

    From luxury bespoke eyewear to fun festival sunnies, we round up the shades to be seen in this summer
    Germany vs Argentina World Cup 2014: Lionel Messi? Javier Mascherano is key for Argentina...

    World Cup final: Messi? Mascherano is key for Argentina...

    No 10 is always centre of attention but Barça team-mate is just as crucial to finalists’ hopes
    Siobhan-Marie O’Connor: Swimmer knows she needs Glasgow joy on road to Rio

    Siobhan-Marie O’Connor: Swimmer needs Glasgow joy on road to Rio

    18-year-old says this month’s Commonwealth Games are a key staging post in her career before time slips away
    The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

    The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

    A future Palestine state will have no borders and be an enclave within Israel, surrounded on all sides by Israeli-held territory, says Robert Fisk
    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: The German people demand an end to the fighting

    A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

    The German people demand an end to the fighting
    New play by Oscar Wilde's grandson reveals what the Irish wit said at his trials

    New play reveals what Oscar Wilde said at trials

    For a century, what Wilde actually said at his trials was a mystery. But the recent discovery of shorthand notes changed that. Now his grandson Merlin Holland has turned them into a play
    Can scientists save the world's sea life from

    Can scientists save our sea life?

    By the end of the century, the only living things left in our oceans could be plankton and jellyfish. Alex Renton meets the scientists who are trying to turn the tide
    Richard III, Trafalgar Studios, review: Martin Freeman gives highly intelligent performance

    Richard III review

    Martin Freeman’s psychotic monarch is big on mockery but wanting in malice