"I have a sister, but funnily enough we have been no help to each other. We can't even discuss my parents because we each experienced them in such a different way. The jealousy we felt seemed to spill over into how we felt about the will, and we actually stopped speaking to each other for six months. A counsellor I saw said we were using the anger we felt abut Mum's death against each other. It sounds right in theory, but I still can't forgive my sister for taking some of the things she took from Mum's house.
"I saw her a month ago, and we cried together a bit for the first time, but it is terrible what the death of parents does to our other relationships. I felt my husband didn't understand what I was going through at all and, to be honest, there was one moment when I wished he would die, too. I seem to be getting over these feelings gradually, but I feel very bitter with God that he took Mum away just as our relationship was becoming so good. My last child left home shortly after Mum died, and I feel this icy wind of loneliness blowing from the front and the back, as it were. I feel it is very cold out in the front, and my parents did give me the shelter I needed. I hate and fear the feeling of having to grow up at last."Reuse content