This is the week that will be

ONE TO REMEMBER FOR...

Baroness Thatcher: But, just possibly, one to forget for Falkland Islanders, because Tuesday is officially "Margaret Thatcher Day" in the Islands. This commemorates the leaderene's visit at the end of the war with Argentina. Curiously, this week also sees the 13th anniversary of her son's disappearance during the Paris-Dakar rally, but as yet there are no plans for a "Mark Thatcher Day" in the Sahara.

Knitwear producers: A Question of Sport, the BBC1 quiz show, celebrates its 400th edition on Tuesday. Over the years, it has become as well-known for the garish, violently clashing sweaters worn by David Coleman, Ian Botham et al as for its celebration of Olympian ideals.

Michael Howard and Derek Lewis: Their agent confirms that they have block bookings on the Today programme and every other major broadcast news outlet this week. Building on the valuable broadcasting experience they have acquired, the Home Secretary and the Director of the Prison Service plan to host a joint chat show when they vacate their current jobs.

Stately homes and green wellies: The National Trust celebrates its centenary this week. Two million members can rejoice at 100 years of protecting the nation's finest houses, gardens, parkland, cream teas and souvenir tapestry kits.

Hanoi shoe shops: Kenneth Clarke visits Vietnam. The Chancellor's distinctive taste in suede footwear is expected to wow his hosts and spark a copycat fashion craze.

ONE TO FORGET FOR...

Rod Stewart: Whisper it (he will), but on Tuesday the gravel-voice rocker reaches 50. Perhaps that explains his recent collapse after a stage appearance in Brazil.

The Government: The hols are over and Parliament, complete with nine whipless Tories, sits again on Tuesday. Another round of precarious voting begins here ... George Graham: Not only is the Arsenal manager under investigation over transfer payments, his

side only managed to hold Millwall to a nil-nil draw in their League match on Saturday. And Wednesday's match against Liverpool could see them out of the Coca-Cola Cup.

Publishers: Martin Amis, with newly hired American agent Andrew Wylie, known as "The Jackal", is stalking British publishing houses in search of £500,000 for his next novel, The Information.

Plants: Starting Wednesday, they face six weeks of David Attenborough interfering with their reproductive organs for The Private Life of Plants.

Twelve New Yorkers: Jury selection begins in the case against Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman and others accused of plotting to bomb the UN. If the trial shows signs of lasting as long as the OJ carry-on, jury members can get divorced right now.

Passengers on London Transport: The ones who forgot to renew their season tickets before yesterday's annual fare increase. The cheapest single Tube fare is now £1.