Well, if Fergie can do it . . .: . . . It must be a doddle, thought Isabel Wolff. Five minutes later, Mikky the Mobile Phone was born

'FERGIE's pounds 2m bonanza,' screamed a newspaper headline on Tuesday above a photograph of the Duchess in characteristic eye-popping mode. What was this? I wondered. A new divorce settlement? A win on the Spanish lottery? Neither of these of course. It was apropos her stupendous deal to sell the foreign television rights of her Budgie - The Little Helicopter books.

Like many people that day, I was struck by the following thought. 'If Fergie, can do it, then I can jolly well do it too.' After all she doesn't appear to be over-burdened with brains or imagination. I thought greedily of the Mr Men characters, of Roland Rat, of Postman Pat, of Mr Blobby and Pooh. Mentally consigning my bonkbuster to the back burner, I rushed out with pound signs in both eyes and bought a couple of Budgie books.

How had she done it? What was the formula? It seems, as far as I can tell, to be this. Think up a 'cute character' and give it a cute name. Find a talented illustrator to give it huge eyes, a cheeky grin and a retrousse nose. Chuck in a few little friends for it, stir well and dash off some simple adventure stories.

Sarah Ferguson may be good at shifting books but believe me, we are not talking A A Milne here. This is what Budgie does. He helps a pregnant woman get to hospital in a blizzard. He rescues two small boys from a cliff. He delivers parcels to a ship. He is brave but he doesn't like baths. Each story is very short, and the illustration/text ratio is approximately 80/20 per cent.

Julia Eccleshare, who selects children's books for the Book Trust, says: 'The Budgie books are pretty mediocre. They're illustrated quite attractively, but they're basically downmarket and terribly unoriginal. The reason they've done so well is Fergie's tremendous publicity pull. Notoriety undoubtedly helps.'

Undeterred, I cast my eye around the office for my own 'cute character'. Walter the Wastepaper Basket? Too prosaic. Roddie the Radio? Hhmmmmm . . . possible. Chucky the Chair? Then inspiration struck: Mikky the Mobile Phone] It had to be a winner, children love technology.

Twenty minutes later I had come up with a crude drawing of him, complete with goggle eyes, button nose, etc, plus fat little hands and legs. I had bestowed on him a circle of friends. Freddie the Fax, Phillipa the Photocopier, Daphne the Desk and Timmy the Ordinary Telephone.

Mikky lives in his owner's top pocket, from where he peeps out cheekily on the world looking for opportunities to prove his usefulness. He is ticklish, and laughs whenever his numbers are pressed; he gets embarrassed if his owner, Peter, uses him in the street.

Coming up with a few story lines took about half an hour:

Timmy the Ordinary Telephone is a bit jealous of Mikky. But when the phone lines go down and Timmy is put out of action, Mikky phones up the engineer who comes to mend Timmy, and the phones become the best of friends.

Mikky doesn't like Peter's new girlfriend. When Peter takes her out to a smart restaurant, Mikky gets Timmy to repeatedly phone him up there. Diners start complaining and girlfriend flounces out.

Peter goes to the bank but gets caught in a hold-up. While he is lying on the floor with his hands behind his head, Mikky rings the police who promptly arrive and arrest the robbers.

Rather pleased with my efforts, I decided to submit them to professional scrutiny.

'We definitely wouldn't buy Mikky,' said one editor of a leading children's publisher bluntly. 'Not because it hasn't got potential, but because you don't have a TV deal. That's what publishers want these days, and that's part of the reason why Budgie took off. It makes it much easier to sell books when the character's had that kind of exposure.'

'Well, does it help to be a former member of the Royal Family?' I asked.

'No, not necessarily.'

''But is there a formula one can follow when it comes to creating a new children's character?'

'Not really,' he said. 'And you can never really tell which ones will succeed and which will go belly-up. But one important point is that the character has to have international appeal, and it should lend itself to a rather crude kind of animation. I would say that Mikky the Mobile satisfies those two basic requirements at least.'

Encouraged, I decided to approach Fergie's publishers, Simon and Schuster.

'What do you think of Mikky?' I asked Philippa Stewart, the publishing director of their children's list.

'I suppose a mobile phone offers quite a lot of story potential,' she admitted. 'So would it sell?' I pressed her.

'Hard to say. But I don't think children are nearly as interested in mobile phones as they are in helicopters.'

I decided to let my neighbour's six-year-old son, Matthew, be the judge of that.

'Do you like machines?' I asked him.

'Yeth.'

'Do you like this one,' I inquired, flourishing my prototype Mikky in front of him.'

'Yeth. It lookth nithe' he said. 'What ith it?'

I wasn't at all prepared for this. 'What do you think it is?' I asked him, suspiciously.

'It'th a calculator, ithn't it?' he replied.

Mikky The Little Mobile Phone is copyright Isabel Wolff

(Photographs omitted)