North Londoners treat south London like your mum when she comes to stay: clinging to their handbags and glaring at everyone. This is a good place to meet one, as to get there they just have to cross the pavement from Clapham Common tube, and won't be too traumatised to speak. It's also a very nice bar (though the benches in the front could do with a tad more bum-room) with an outdoors at the back that feels more like a series of plant-filled rooms than a biergarten. The food is nice, though quite rich for this heat. On Sunday lunchtimes they do newspapers and Bloody Marys: sleaze and civilisation.

Metro, 9 Clapham Common Southside, SW4

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