RICHARD E GRANT, actor: It would be Virginia Bottomley for doing to the Health Service what she should be doing in her private life.

VICTORIA GILLICK, family rights campaigner: I'd like to thump Ted Heath in the teeth, especially since he has so many of them. He's the ultimate traitor of our sovereign Parliament and nation. He is so in favour of bureaucratising this country off the map of the earth. When you meet him in the flesh it gives you a jump, there's so much of it.

JENNY ECLAIR, comedienne: Oh my goodness, I'd like to thump lots of people. I'm fuelled by spite and fury going back to my primary school teacher Miss Munroe. She used to poke me in the chest. She suffered from corns and would have to change her shoes during the day. I would like to jump on her corns and really inflict some pain on her.

MARJORIE PROOPS, agony aunt: I would really like to whack that stupid ex-minister Robert Hughes, not only for his phoney performance but for his serialised adultery. I think his foolish wife deserves a good thump, too. I can't abide these stand-by-your-man women. It would be braver of her to give him a good kick you know where.

TOM ROMANO, member of the Chippendales: Bill Clinton, for his recent failed policies. I just spent three months back in the US and saw what's really happening. But I know if he were here right in front of me I wouldn't do it. Physical aggression never achieves anything, regardless of the motive, though I change my mind when I think of drug dealers.

JAMES BUCKLEY, solicitor: People who get to the top of escalators at stations or the underground and then just stand there blankly, making a maddening bottleneck. I'd like to beat them all out of the way with my briefcase, leaving a trail of blood and gore.

TERESA MORRISH, civil servant: There's plenty in this office I'd thump, especially those with too much testosterone flowing in their blood.

STEPHEN ROGERS, librarian: Ugly redheads.

JON FITZMAURICE, director of Char housing campaign for the homeless: I could quite easily thump Rupert Murdoch for undermining the quality of the tabloid press since he took over the Sun. By trivialising what is happening in the world he has reduced people's ability to recognise what is important and what isn't.

HOWARD CLARK, writer, Pacifist News: I quite often feel like hitting someone but I know this would be counter productive. I could thump Boris Yeltsin for allowing the war in Chechnya to continue, but he'd probably be too drunk to notice.

JANE GILLARD, temp: Thumping would be too good for Danny Baker. I think Radio One should run a competition to find 100 ways to make him self-destruct.

NICKY PIPER, professional boxer: I'd thump those people who fight outside the ring. Boxing is a sport and a science enjoyed inside the ring by mostly quiet people. Fighting doesn't make you a man, supporting your family and surviving in life does.