why are they famous?
Sunday 19 October 1997
Appearance: Courtney Love meets "road rage" murderess Tracy Andrews. Teen slut with child-in-care style blank gaze and over-enthusiastic peroxide job. The Queen Vic's latest vamp with a past.
Marital Disharmony: Our heroine appears to nestle contentedly in the bosom of the Merchant family, protectively embraced by long-suffering wife Helen, who, to show her solidarity with her straying spouse, staged a squirm-making marathon tonguey snog for the cameras. We then all instantly understood that the Merchants have a rock-solid and sexually satisfying marriage. Anna, though caught on camera also snogging the upstanding and faithful MP has been defended to the last by Helen. A menage a trois? Don't be ridiculous.
Past Imperfect: The daughter of a marine engineer, Anna met Piers at a Young Conservative function. Soon, she found herself his "assistant", performing secretarial and campaign work. She also earned her crust at a Soho strip joint as "Chantal", a pounds 100 a night hostess.
Sex Lies: Anna accompanied Piers to the recent Blackpool Tory party conference, where the couple were caught canoodling and were reported to have spent several nights together. Anna also kissed and told the Sun all about it back in March: "He made me feel like his little princess... I felt his hands on my legs and sensed his excitement when he reached my stocking tops." Yet, here she is, talking of a jolly family friendship, shouting at the press: "You are trying to break up families," before being taken away by ambulance, leaning on two paramedics. Young Miss Cox is clearly a suitable friend for all the family, then.
Fame Prospects: Execrable. How many politicians' mistresses can one name in a pub quiz beside Sara Keays and Antonia de Sancha? We suggest that Anna does her A levels, finds a boyfriend at a sixth-form social function, then goes to drama school. Obscurity beckons. Next week.
Life & Style blogs
Who is Teresa Fidalgo? Debunking the fake ghost story that's got Instagram spooked
The 10 Best Scotch Whiskies
Scottish salmon sales leap as Asia develops a taste
Grim second life of the 'breastaurant': The oft-loathed sector is booming in the States thanks to Hooters, Twin Peaks and Tilted Kilt
Health: When masturbation can be fatal: The practice of auto-erotic asphyxia is often concealed by a coroner's verdict. Monique Roffey looks at a lethal taboo
British actor Idris Elba cannot star as James Bond because he is black, says shock jock Rush Limbaugh
Ukip member gets into Christmas spirit with Union Flag plea to Santa 'for our country back'
Germany anti-Islam protests: 17,000 march on Dresden against 'Islamification of the West'
Immigrants make UK racist, says Ukip councillor Trevor Shonk
Nigel Farage: Ukip leader named 'Briton of the year' by The Times
BBC director Danny Cohen: Rising UK antisemitism makes me feel more uncomfortable than ever
- 1 The political parties aren't all the same – which means 2015 will be a 'big-choice' election
- 2 President of Argentina adopts Jewish godson to 'stop him turning into a werewolf'
- 3 ALS ice bucket challenge co-founder Corey Griffin drowns, aged 27
- 4 The 'Black Museum': After 150 years, public set to see exhibits from police’s grisly crime museum
£20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Panel Wireman required for small electro...
£25000 - £27000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An SME based in East Cheshire, ...
£18000 - £22000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: Do you have previous experience...
£16000 - £18000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity...