NO 3: TAMARA BECKWITH
Main Claim: absolutely sod all. This is the raison d'etre of the Tamara Beckwith breed of fame. Once just a naughty miss with a rich daddy (property tycoon Peter Beckwith) who went to lots of parties, now she has made partygoing a profession, retaining a PR to promote the nebulous product that is Tamara Beckwith. Tamara goes to parties; she models, shops, gives interviews, and then goes to parties. She works very hard at her generally work-free business. That's how we know about her.

The Milk Maids: Never has famous-for-being-famous been so famous. Tamara is honorary head girl for a group of deeply irritating socialites. La Beckwith, along with Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, Normandie Keith, Tania Bryer, and lesser, skeletal blondes with rich papas, is expert at gaining tabloid exposure. Known as the Milk Maids - they milk every situation for publicity - they are now being given useless newspaper columns and filling new celebrity mags.

Appearance: Barbie gone off the tracks. Severely surprised frogspawn eyebrows. With her bj mouth and rock-chick tastes, Tamara is the Chelsea version of Annalise from Neighbours.

Side Kick: Boyfriend is brother of Hollywood siren Sharon Stone. A crooked nosed jail bird, Michael Stone is not a suitable boy, according to Mummy and Daddy Beckwith. Baby Beckwith called off the engagement after serious parental promises to disinherit her.

Mother Love: "They smear chocolate over themselves and then touch your things, don't they?" This is the Tamara approach to motherhood. "I'm just too selfish," she says in an odd fit of self awareness. Daughter Anouska Poppy Pearl, nine, was born when Tamara was 16. The plot was to give birth secretly, then find the babe adoptive parents. But Peter and Paula Beckwith intervened, and now raise little Anouska. "She gets to go to school in grandad's red Mercedes," explains Tamara.

Past Imperfect: "Oh, I've been a nightmare," is Tamara's cheerful summary of her past. Chucked out of Cheltenham Ladies' College, done for possessing cocaine, pregnant at 16, Tamara has been a trial to her parents. Now 26, however, she is, clearly, very busy.

Fifteen Minutes: Tamara was on television last week. Friday's Channel 4 offering, Filthy Rich: Daddy's Girls, featured her with friends. Nails, polo, mobile phones. Lunch, sports cars, handbags. You get the kind of thing.

Babe Speak: In her appealingly throaty cut glass tones, Tamara explained her politics to her TV audience. "If you happen to be working class, it's not a bad thing. They probably have less things to worry about other than, like, getting the food on the table ..."

Fame Prospects: Tamara is one of the most famous people in the world. She'll have to work hard to maintain her profile. She will have to have more affairs, buy more clothes, and tell us all about it. Look out for Anouska's first Hello! spread, five years from now.

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