Main Claim: Henry is famous for being a pal of a woman who became famous for wearing a dress held up by safety pins. Beat that if you can. Even Hello! can dredge up no pithier epithet than "aristocrat and friend of Liz Hurley". Hot news is that Blighty's most eligible castle-sporting bachelor boy may be snapped up any nanosecond by a Yank. Lili Maltese - surprisingly, a 23-year-old model - has just returned from a touchy- feely trip to Egypt, and has shacked up at Henry's medieval, moated pile, Sudeley Castle.

Appearance: Minor athlete gone to seed. Equatorial flaneur. Gay waiter in an Ag Nik eatery.

Girl Power: The girl poised to capture the castle is American. Henry has already described LA women as shallow gold-diggers who "behave rather rapaciously". The new chatelaine, however, was born Lilikoi (meaning Passion Flower) Valintine Maltese and brought up in Hawaii by hippies with Grateful Dead connections. She kicked drugs as a teenager, so she and Henry have plenty to discuss (see Past Imperfect). Lili is now, according to her model agency, a patron for several charities alongside Henry.

Past Imperfect: "I was so wild when I was younger," declares Henry, given to sharing his former drug problems with little prompting. "I was very decadent. I had no self-esteem, no belief that I could ever live a normal, happy life." Failing to get into Eton, the young toff was chucked out of Stowe for sniffing Right Guard. This inventive antiperspirant mischief was followed by more grown-up habits. As a 21-year-old drug addict he fled to California and attended Narcotics Anonymous.

Future Perfect: Henry is writing a Californian, healthy-eating cookbook. He meditates every day and practises "Salute to the Sun" yoga. He's got a lot to do, then.

Hurley Burly: We first became aware of Mr Dent-Brocklehurst, his Bronteesque name, and his castle, when Liz Hurley ran to him for refuge in her pale- faced, long suffering, operatic phase after her boyfriend was caught having a blow job in a car with a prostitute. Henry inherited his share of the 1,200 acre estate on his 30th birthday, and, gaily dressed, surrounded by celebs, hosted a celebratory Bacchanalian.

Fame Prospects: Not too hot, unless he starts sniffing Mum roll-on, Hugh Grant becomes a transvestite, or Raine Spencer is hired as estate manager of Sudeley Castle.