Why are they famous?; Danniella Westbrook

Main Claim: Starry young hooligan of EastEnders fame. No longer in the coveted role of Sam Butcher, Danniella, 23, has embraced the tradition of washed-up soap stars, careering off the tracks with admirable enthusiasm. Oh, the column inches. Oh, the schadenfreude.

Appearance: Wide-cheeked, singing and dancing, stage-school brat with gor blimey accent and patent leather shoes. Finn from Home And Away meets Orlando the Cat.

AWOL: Danniella has fled the country and her troubles, with baby son, to recover in Australia with her friend, wild-child former soap star Melissa Bell of Neighbours fame. Ceri Berry, ex-manager of both starlets, says: "Both could have had anything but are now struggling alone, with baby sons and few prospects."

Past Imperfect: The scriptwriters at EastEnders couldn't have invented her real-life dramas. Naughty Ms Westbrook is reported to have spent pounds 100,000 on drugs. Her carousing, her unwise activities and her press- pleasing shenanigans earned her more column inches than many a labouring thesp earns in a lifetime. Last year, she failed to surprise us all by becoming pregnant by an undeclared source. See below.

Boy Troubles: Her rollercoaster romantic life has included an affair with disgraced East 17 singer Brian Harvey - who also dated Melissa Bell. Last year, Danniella was involved with footballer Jamie Moralee and car dealer Robert Fernandez at around the same time. Thus, when infant son Kai was born, there was some confusion about his parentage. Blood tests revealed 21-year-old Fernandez to be the father. The happy family promptly posed for the News Of The World, draped only in red satin sheets.

Down Shift: The fallen soap star was recently spotted in her nightie, fag in hand, living in Fernandez's mum's Rotherhithe council flat. Now, she is said to have dumped Fernandez to "find" herself in Australia.

Fame Prospects: Danniella enjoys dressing up, smiling for the cameras, dating vaguely famous men, and straying off the straight and narrow. Thus, further fame is guaranteed. She should now turn into an Australian pop star, conceive twins, or play Finn's long-lost cockney sister Kylie-Lorraine in Home And Away.