Why are they famous: Della Bovey

Main claim

Anthea Turner's love rival. So dumbed-down is our era that the wife of the lover of a TV presenter can become a household name. Never before has a simple housewife and mother been known, like a world class icon, by first name alone. But tabloid over-excitement about Anthea Turner's ill-advised love life created the one and only "Della". (See also "Ivana"). That's about it, folks. This week, estranged husband Grant has taken Della to court after discovering she is dating a dreadlocked labourer 11 years her junior, described as "colourful and bohemian" and given to patronising public houses. Della is also reported to have had her navel pierced.

Go for it, Della!

Appearance

Pleasant-faced, perfectly ordinary mother-of-three.

Love triangle

Della, 35, lives in a pounds 2 million mansion in Sussex, now up for sale. She is the mother of Lily, six, Amelia, four, and Claudia, two. In January last year, Anthea Turner famously did a runner with her beetle-browed love rat of a husband, spawning a parable for our times: a trash-dripping charade featuring the famous blonde "homewrecker" and two humble denizens. However, the Boveys took to celebrity magazines and chequebook journalism with scary alacrity, becoming glossy cover stars when Grant briefly returned to the nest. Never had Mr and Mrs Normal been quite so buffed, coiffed and studio-lit..

Women's lip

Our heroine has now taken to wild and "extrovert" behaviour, apparently sporting a new line in "fashionable and revealing" clothing. In the meantime, Anthea lost tons of weight and posed naked with a python. Was it worth it for a plastic husband who resembles a waxwork Thunderbirds puppet, with brow merkin and stick-on manly smile? Anthea is now welcome to this standard-issue Lothario, says Della: "The sad thing is, I just don't care." Hurrah.

Fame prospects

"Bovey" is a small Devon town and an American term for a surgical cauterising instrument. Della should return to her maiden name, write a trashy novel and marry someone nicer. Good on you, brave Della.