why are they famous?; prince michael junior
Sunday 30 March 1997
Appearance: Standard Caucasian infant, aged five weeks.
Stop Press: The boy not named after an obscure British royal or a rival castrato-style singing sensation has had his first formal press unveiling. This follows a set of bogus baby snaps in the News Of The World: "That is not my child," fumed Debbie. Prince's proud sire (the King of Pop - geddit?) has granted his first print interview in 18 years, to OK! magazine, not best known for scoops. Sample observation: "There is no miracle in life that can compare with watching your son come into the world." Since Michael likes children so much, it's a shame, if not a missed genetic miracle, that he didn't produce Elvis's grandson while he was about it.
Gene Genie: Born of a father who looks like a woman and a mother who looks like a man, young Prince may not be destined for immediate baby- pageant glory. Mrs Michael Jackson sports a theme-park jaw and no-nonsense truckster appeal with acid-head, transsexual, biker-style overtones. And her good husband resembles the term's work of some remedial-stream surgery students. Hence the resultant offspring may be floundering about in the shallow end of the gene pool. But, no matter. While other boys look forward to a circumcision or a night brace, Prince may well be a chip off the old block.
We Are Family: There have been some churlish tales put about that Jackson, in fact, paid Debbie Rowe to carry his foetus, she was artificially inseminated, and will be paid again to hand over custody of the child. "Debbie and I love each other for all the things you will never see on stage or in pictures," says Michael. "Don't believe 99 per cent of the garbage you read or hear," says Debbie. So, a perfectly normal family unit, then.
Fame Prospects: "I want my son to live a normal life," says Michael. Hence Prince has been photographed a month out of the womb with his bog- standard parents. Not a snowball's chance of it, poor pet.
Life & Style blogs
What happens to your body when you give up sugar?
Why you should never make assumptions about people with autism
The big fresh food con: Alarming truth behind the chocolate muffin that won't decay
Majority of UK women don't bathe or take a shower daily
From criminal to catwalk: Convict Jeremy Meeks wins modelling contract in the most unusual fashion scouting – behind bars
Durham Free School: 'Creationism taught at' free school facing closure
Nearly 100,000 of Britain's poorest children go hungry after parents' benefits are cut
End of the licence fee: BBC to back radical overhaul of how it is funded
Ex-head of MI6: 'We shouldn't kid ourselves that Russia is on a path to democracy'
Most people think legal tax avoidance is just as wrong as illegal tax evasion, poll suggests
Nigel Farage promises Ukip will not 'stigmatise' would-be migrants – and says he wants 'everyone to speak the same language'
- 1 Autism 'caused by genetics', study suggests
- 2 What happens to your body when you give up sugar?
- 3 Why you should never make assumptions about people with autism
- 4 Tourist films plane's descent just metres above packed Caribbean beach
- 5 Have sex with your iPad thanks to the new sex toy no-one asked for
£18000 - £20000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This company has a track record...
£40000 - £70000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join ...
£13000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an exciting opportunity to join ...
£14500 - £15000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: An IT Help Desk Support individ...