why are they famous?; tiggy legge-bourke

Main Claim: Protectress of princelings, fierce mother lioness by proxy to the future regent, HRH Prince William. But not for much longer. After much speculation, tabloid announcements of terminated employment and her latest long-lens motherly cuddle with Prince Harry, it's official: Tiggy's going down the Job Centre. To be precise, Tiggy ('Alexandra' on her CV) is looking for another position now that her princes are pubescent.

One of a Kind: Formerly a gallumphing Sloaney girl, as nanny to the royal princes - and currently general royal factotum at large - Tiggy was (see Appearance below) typical of the invisible (read: plainish) celebrity nanny. See also the former Yates-Geldof helpmeet, plus assorted fat/pasty/invisible "face in the crowd" types, walking two steps behind celebs on arrival at Heathrow, who turn out to have sole responsibility for the superstars' greatest achievements.

Appearance: Tiggy 1: Plump, adenoidal Sloane, posing absolutely no threat. With her mousey hair, jolly-hockey-sticks dress sense, and Balmoral buffed cheeks, Tiggy seemed to personify a jolly nice, cake-bingeing Jilly Cooper heroine. Tiggy then lost weight. Tiggy 2: Slender, bulimic-irritant with piste-pink complexion and natty, knee-length, Di-style suits. Deb of the Year meets temp recruitment agency model.

Piste Off: Replaced in the chair-lift by the iron-jawed grin of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson on the recent royal jaunt to Klosters, much was made of Tiggy's apparent fall from grace. Life is hard.

Upstart: Her Tigginess was famously thought to have narked the Queen of Hearts by appearing to replace her in the princes' affections. Tiggy then had a jolly good ticking off last year after being photographed cuddling Harry, who is apparently considered too old for such public displays of affection. The Empire never really stood a chance after Dr Spock.

Family Matter: The family Legge-Bourke, forever discreet, has a proud royal past. Tiggy's mother, Shan Legge-Bourke (only in England... ), is a lady-in-waiting to Princess Ann. After Montessori training and nursery experience, Tiggy was recommended for a post with Prince Charles by his godmother, Lady Susan Hussey.

Fame Prospects: Tiggy will probably shepherd some sprig-frocked, titled girlies, marry a silver stick in waiting, and then produce a brood of ruddy cheeked infants with names like Harry and William. Alternatively, she could become a PR and stick on name labels in press tents. Fame does not sit prettily on our Tiggy. Leave all that kind of stuff to Tara, Marina and Diana.