French sex kitten of sub-Bardot variety, endowed with mysterious superstarlet status despite infrequency of international bits. A singer and actress, she pouted her way as a teenager through a ditty called "Joe le Taxi" and, um, has acted in a handful of films. Now there are reports that she is expecting a baby with the cool babe's thinking Romeo, Johnny Depp. Our protagonist has been spotted in shades and baggy knitwear leaving a Montmartre flat flanked by the brooding hero, sporting beanie and goatee. Vanessa quote from 1997: "I want to have a baby inside me, give birth to it and feed it." That's alright, then.
Bee sting. Hamster. Kitten. Isabelle Adjani meets Vanessa-Mae. Judi Dench meets Lolita.
Since her candied rendition of "Joe le Taxi" as little more than a child, Vanessa has starred as a bird in a cage for Coco Chanel ads, and won an award for her debut film, Noce Blanche. Her second big screen role in five years, opposite Gerard Depardieu in Elisa, had them steaming on in predictable fashion about Bardot. Fickle old public - a few years ago, that skew-eyed Barbie Claudia Schiffer was meant to be Brigitte incarnate. And does Vanessa really want to end up with panda eyeliner saving rabid dogs, espousing dodgy politics, and sporting long blonde hair in her sixties? We think not. Control those pouts.
After her "Taxi" number, Vanessa, now 25, enjoyed a hit with "Be My Baby", but fame had its drawbacks: "Girls still treat me as a bitch and pull my hair," said the girl who made mouse-brown locks look cool. Of her blood- raising abilities on screen, she comments: "All the better."
Engaged to Winona Ryder, and the on-off consort of Kate Moss, alleged current beau Johnny Depp clearly likes a pretty face, a pair of cheekbones and a perfect mouth among a general selection of young girlie charms. But what about his "Winona Forever" tattoo? And let us spare a thought for poor Kate, languishing at The Priory after her spell of over-enthusiastic carousing.
A tender-aged Vanessa Paradis can't go far wrong with a name like that, but for those post-Lolita years it might be a moniker better suited to a drag queen. Our heroine could go all reclusive, become a hollow-eyed housewife for cinematic cred, run off with Depardieu or become a surreal art house belle. And she can always take to croaking "Joe le Taxi" at 90.