Yesterday was a ...

Good Day for dead donkeys, as a donkey named Murphy was posthumously decorated by Australia for his bravery at Gallipoli during the First World War. Another donkey, named Simpson, accepted the Purple Heart award on Murphy's behalf.

Bad Day for bearings, as an Indian mechanic in Kuwait was taken to hospital after getting his penis stuck in a ring-shaped bearing as he was trying to have sex with it. "He was crying with pain when we got to him," said a rescuer.

Good Day for fat crooks, as 170kg Abdool Akoo was paroled from jail in South Africa because his bulk was putting too much strain on prison services.