Donald MacInnes: So why are we finally buying a house? Just so I can have a dog

 

As we are now at the very last stages of buying our new home, I find my thoughts straying ever more frequently to the real reason why we decided to purchase a proper house with a real garden.

Yes, it was the logical move after years of throwing money away on a parade of rental properties across London.

Yes, having secured a cushy new job that enables her to work from home, my wife needed a dedicated office space.

However, the real motivation (as anyone who knows me will testify) for the purchase is that owning our own home (and garden) will mean that we can get a dog.

This may not mean much to many of you, but I have been craving a pooch ever since I moved to this godforsaken metropolis from the heather-strewn glens of my homeland.

We always had a dog when I was a child. And while I was as keen as the next teenager to take the barker out for a walk in the rain – in other words, really not very much – I find that the older I have got, the more I have come to yearn for the snuffle of a wet nose and an over-driven tail.

And, fingers crossed, that dream should come true within the next few weeks. We are even allowing ourselves to get just a little bit excited about the prospect.

Out shopping last weekend, we stopped in one of those new pet superstores, spending half an hour pinging rubber steaks at each other and squeezing squeaky toys in each other's ears.

One thing we did notice in the shop was the plethora of posters for pet insurance. This is a reality with which we will soon have to become familiar.

We have spent the last few months in a hell of endless life/buildings insurance questionnaires, answering an endless array of questions about our medical history and the odds that we will shuffle off this here mortal coil before the ink is dry on the mortgage deed.

And all of those questions are very necessary. But I would rather jump through insurance hoops knowing that my reward will be a little furry friend who thinks I am genuinely and without question the finest and most loveable object in the solar system. Such adoration is rare these days.

Of course, all of this canine affection only throws into even starker relief the news from the BBC that cats are one of the top threats to US wildlife, being responsible for the deaths of billions of animals each year.

It is estimated that the demonic, fish-breath hate-mongers have their paws all over the deaths of between 1.4 billion and 3.7 billion birds and up to 20.7 billion mammals every year.

Shocking as these statistics are, they should surprise no one. Dogs exude love; cats just ignore you and then try to weasel their way into your affections again by assassinating a sparrow then depositing its still-twitching corpse on your kitchen floor.

There's no insurance premium to cover that kind of queasy trauma. Bastards.

Twitter.com/DonaldAMacInnes

Independent Partners; Do you need financial advice on your investments, pension or insurance? Book a free consultation with an independent Financial Adviser at VouchedFor.co.uk

Arts and Entertainment
Books should be for everyone, says Els, 8. Publisher Scholastic now agrees
booksAn eight-year-old saw a pirate book was ‘for boys’ and took on the publishers
Life and Style
Mary Beard received abuse after speaking positively on 'Question Time' about immigrant workers: 'When people say ridiculous, untrue and hurtful things, then I think you should call them out'
tech
Life and Style
Most mail-order brides are thought to come from Thailand, the Philippines and Romania
life
News
i100
Life and Style
tech
Voices
Margaret Thatcher, with her director of publicity Sir Gordon Reece, who helped her and the Tory Party to victory in 1979
voicesThe subject is being celebrated by the V&A museum, triggering some happy memories for former PR man DJ Taylor
Finacial products from our partners
Property search
  • Get to the point
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Money & Business

    Ashdown Group: Business Analyst - Financial Services - City, London

    £50000 - £55000 per annum: Ashdown Group: Business Analyst - Financial Service...

    SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £18000 - £23000 per annum + OTE £45K: SThree: At SThree, we like to be differe...

    SThree: Trainee Recruitment Consultant

    £20000 - £25000 per annum + competitive: SThree: Did you know? SThree is the o...

    Recruitment Genius: Administrator - IFA Based

    £22000 - £24000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: This is an opportunity to join ...

    Day In a Page

    General Election 2015: Chuka Umunna on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband

    Chuka Umunna: A virus of racism runs through Ukip

    The shadow business secretary on the benefits of immigration, humility – and his leader Ed Miliband
    Yemen crisis: This exotic war will soon become Europe's problem

    Yemen's exotic war will soon affect Europe

    Terrorism and boatloads of desperate migrants will be the outcome of the Saudi air campaign, says Patrick Cockburn
    Marginal Streets project aims to document voters in the run-up to the General Election

    Marginal Streets project documents voters

    Independent photographers Joseph Fox and Orlando Gili are uploading two portraits of constituents to their website for each day of the campaign
    Game of Thrones: Visit the real-life kingdom of Westeros to see where violent history ends and telly tourism begins

    The real-life kingdom of Westeros

    Is there something a little uncomfortable about Game of Thrones shooting in Northern Ireland?
    How to survive a social-media mauling, by the tough women of Twitter

    How to survive a Twitter mauling

    Mary Beard, Caroline Criado-Perez, Louise Mensch, Bunny La Roche and Courtney Barrasford reveal how to trounce the trolls
    Gallipoli centenary: At dawn, the young remember the young who perished in one of the First World War's bloodiest battles

    At dawn, the young remember the young

    A century ago, soldiers of the Empire – many no more than boys – spilt on to Gallipoli’s beaches. On this 100th Anzac Day, there are personal, poetic tributes to their sacrifice
    Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves

    Follow the money as never before

    Dissent is slowly building against the billions spent on presidential campaigns – even among politicians themselves, reports Rupert Cornwell
    Samuel West interview: The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents

    Samuel West interview

    The actor and director on austerity, unionisation, and not mentioning his famous parents
    General Election 2015: Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

    Imagine if the leading political parties were fashion labels

    Fashion editor, Alexander Fury, on what the leaders' appearances tell us about them
    Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

    Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka: Home can be the unsafest place for women

    The architect of the HeForShe movement and head of UN Women on the world's failure to combat domestic violence
    Public relations as 'art'? Surely not

    Confessions of a former PR man

    The 'art' of public relations is being celebrated by the V&A museum, triggering some happy memories for DJ Taylor
    Bill Granger recipes: Our chef succumbs to his sugar cravings with super-luxurious sweet treats

    Bill Granger's luxurious sweet treats

    Our chef loves to stop for 30 minutes to catch up on the day's gossip, while nibbling on something sweet
    London Marathon 2015: Paula Radcliffe and the mother of all goodbyes

    The mother of all goodbyes

    Paula Radcliffe's farewell to the London Marathon will be a family affair
    Everton vs Manchester United: Steven Naismith demands 'better' if Toffees are to upset the odds against United

    Steven Naismith: 'We know we must do better'

    The Everton forward explains the reasons behind club's decline this season
    Arsenal vs Chelsea: Praise to Arsene Wenger for having the courage of his convictions

    Michael Calvin's Last Word

    Praise to Wenger for having the courage of his convictions