Donald MacInnes: Sometimes your goal in life is just not worth defending


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Recognition – or the lack of thereof – will provide the chrome stripper pole around which I coil my words for you this week.

Firstly, we examine the story of footballer Jordan Seabright, until Monday the goalie with Conference Premier side Torquay United. Mr Seabright this week decided that he was tired of operating in relative obscurity, on the very chilly, Plutonian outer limits of Match of the Day's solar system of cash-rich consciousness.

Figuring there was no way he was ever going to fulfil his dreams of Sky-high footballing fame with its pyramids of lovely money, Seabright has quit the low-flying Seagulls and aims to now earn a living selling cars. He told BBC Sport: "If I'm honest, I fell out of love with the game. I didn't really enjoy it any more. I didn't see myself going anywhere and I want to have a career and be successful."

In response, in a statement that surely belongs in the TUC Hall of Double-Talking Gobbledegook, Torquay manager Chris Hargreaves reckoned: "It's a really brave decision. It's a decision that I don't think is necessarily the wrong decision."

In other change-of-career news, we hear that former Arsenal and England centre-back Sol "Half-time" Campbell is attracting the attention of the bookies, who have him at odds of 10-1 to become an MP by 2020. The big unit with the unsettling eyes is being linked with the Kensington constituency vacated by the very industrious Sir Malcolm Rifkind.

Personally, I think Sol could pull it off. He's definitely cut from the right cloth, having described Ed Miliband's proposals for a mansion tax on properties worth over £2m, as "madness". One-nil to the arse.

Talking of the rich, our monarch has undergone a re-imagining in metal, with her coin-etched countenance getting a bit of a rejig. I wonder why they bother. It's not like back in the muddy medieval past, when people only knew what their ruler looked like from his or her image on a groat. Nowadays punters who meet the queen are hardly going to look from her to the pound coin in their hand and exclaim: "Wait a minute! This doesn't look anything like you! You're much taller!"

It doesn't really matter whose face appears on our money. Certainly not according to those crazy Canadians. Bereft at the death of Mr Spock, our Commonwealth cousins have paid tribute in the only way they know how. Due to the resemblance of former Canadian Prime Minister Sir Wilfrid Laurier to the Enterprise's Vulcan science officer, Trekkers have been drawing pointy ears and a quizzically raised eyebrow onto his image on a five dollar bill. I suppose we can be grateful Leonard Nimoy didn't look like the Queen.

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