Donald MacInnes: Why are we getting in a froth over Brooklyn Beckham's coffee job?

I'm fairly sure the Daily Mail has its "best people" on the job as we speak. In fact, it being a Saturday, they are probably, at this very moment, crawling through hedges all over west London; hiding in wheelie bins, sniffing the air, questioning the locals and generally doing their frantic best to hunt down the location of Brooklyn Beckham's coffee shop. Gosh, what a holy show over one teenage lad's Saturday job. Although I do wonder how much longer the enormo-quiffed 15-year-old will be able to sling flat whites to an uncaring public without the address of his place of work being compromised and thus then besieged by a panting crowd with anything but Kenco on its mind.

If it hasn't already happened by the time you read this (and if it has, just pretend it hasn't), I'm thinking it can't be long before the corporate identity of Becks Junior's pocket money provider is broadcast to the world. Then it's inevitable that the poor kid will have to steam his skinny milk with an audience of ravenous, gasping paparazzi and even-more-ravenous pubescent girls who want to de-caff the choirboy-eyed hunk-in-training with the Americano name.

There have been the expected songs of praise from columnists directed at David and Victoria's splendid down-to-earthness in making sure their progeny learned a few of life's harsher lessons in a real workplace environment before he gets old enough to spend their hard-earned squillions on models, shiny motor cars and fizzy champagne. Although, given the near-Amish work ethic displayed by his mum and dad over the past 20 years or so, it's unlikely that their sharp-dressing offspring will be anything other than dilligent, ambitious and beyond-his-years savvy in business. Let's face it: he was never going to fail, was he? And if he did, we probably wouldn't know about it. One shot of him crawling out of Mahiki in a drooling daze, with a gamine society miss on his arm, would have his father lacing up his boots for one last Beckham special, only this time the boot would go flying up his boy's behind.

My own early attempts at gainful employment have been documented in these pages over the past couple of years, so I shan't dwell on them too deeply, but I can speak with some authority about working for £2.68 an hour, or whatever Brooklyn will be earning. The honest truth of it is that I have probably never been happier than I was in my first Saturday job, stacking shelves in a Glasgow supermarket. I used to do a couple of nights during the week and then a whole Saturday, for which I took home about £40.

As a 17-year-old chap, this was clearly a fortune, but you wouldn't know it, given the haste with which I would spend it on pints of Strongbow. But then, I didn't have David Beckham keeping me on the straight and narrow. Brooklyn should think himself lucky. Or not, depending on how tasty those small latte groupies are…

Twitter.com/DonaldAMacInnes

Independent Partners; Do you need financial advice on your investments, pension or insurance? Book a free consultation with an independent Financial Adviser at VouchedFor.co.uk

Finacial products from our partners
Property search
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

ES Rentals

    iJobs Job Widget
    iJobs Money & Business

    Ashdown Group: Junior Application Support Analyst - Fluent German Speaker

    £25000 - £30000 per annum + benefits: Ashdown Group: A global leader operating...

    Recruitment Genius: Customer Service Advisor

    £15000 - £16000 per annum: Recruitment Genius: A Customer Service Advisor is r...

    Ashdown Group: Trainee Consultant - Surrey / South West London

    £22000 per annum + pension,bonus,career progression: Ashdown Group: An establi...

    SThree: HR Benefits Manager

    £40000 - £50000 per annum + pro rata: SThree: SThree Group have been well esta...

    Day In a Page

    Syrian conflict is the world's first 'climate change war', say scientists, but it won't be the last one

    Climate change key in Syrian conflict

    And it will trigger more war in future
    How I outwitted the Gestapo

    How I outwitted the Gestapo

    My life as a Jew in wartime Berlin
    The nation's favourite animal revealed

    The nation's favourite animal revealed

    Women like cuddly creatures whilst men like creepy-crawlies
    Is this the way to get young people to vote?

    Getting young people to vote

    From #VOTESELFISH to Bite the Ballot
    Poldark star Heida Reed: 'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'

    Poldark star Heida Reed

    'I don't think a single bodice gets ripped'
    The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

    The difference between America and Israel? There isn’t one

    Netanyahu knows he can get away with anything in America, says Robert Fisk
    Families clubbing together to build their own affordable accommodation

    Do It Yourself approach to securing a new house

    Community land trusts marking a new trend for taking the initiative away from developers
    Head of WWF UK: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

    David Nussbaum: We didn’t send Cameron to the Arctic to see green ideas freeze

    The head of WWF UK remains sanguine despite the Government’s failure to live up to its pledges on the environment
    Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

    Author Kazuo Ishiguro on being inspired by shoot-outs and samurai

    Set in a mythologised 5th-century Britain, ‘The Buried Giant’ is a strange beast
    With money, corruption and drugs, this monk fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’

    Money, corruption and drugs

    The monk who fears Buddhism in Thailand is a ‘poisoned fruit’
    America's first slavery museum established at Django Unchained plantation - 150 years after slavery outlawed

    150 years after it was outlawed...

    ... America's first slavery museum is established in Louisiana
    Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

    Kelly Clarkson: How I snubbed Simon Cowell and become a Grammy-winning superstar

    The first 'American Idol' winner on how she manages to remain her own woman – Jane Austen fascination and all
    Tony Oursler on exploring our uneasy relationship with technology with his new show

    You won't believe your eyes

    Tony Oursler's new show explores our uneasy relationship with technology. He's one of a growing number of artists with that preoccupation
    Ian Herbert: Peter Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

    Moores must go. He should never have been brought back to fail again

    The England coach leaves players to find solutions - which makes you wonder where he adds value, says Ian Herbert
    War with Isis: Fears that the looming battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

    The battle for Mosul will unleash 'a million refugees'

    Aid agencies prepare for vast exodus following planned Iraqi offensive against the Isis-held city, reports Patrick Cockburn