Meet generation rent: they'd like to hire a new wardrobe every day

New research this week has found that almost half of 25 to 34-year-olds would be interested in a rental clothing scheme

MPs voted down plans to extend trading hours on a Sunday (Corbis)

The scene: a modern coffee shop. Young people sit about waiting to be Pinterested in something other than the bloody internet.

Jonny (huge beard, no clue) notices Jenny (wan, limp, floral) at the next table. He points his smartphone at her to convey his appreciation, but only succeeds in making her nose crinkle in confusion. He decides to go dinosaur and, y'know, talk to her…

Jonny: "Yo."

Jenny: "Hey [smiling]. Nice slacks. They're very, well, very."

Jonny: "Thanks. They're not strictly mine."

Jenny: "No? Your flatmate's?"

Jonny: "No. They don't actually belong to anyone. [Sighs] I won't be able to wear them much longer – they have to go back soon."

Jenny: "Back… ?"

Jonny: "Yes, well, they're rented. I rent all of my clothes. Don't you?"

Jenny: "Well, I… "

Suddenly, a man strides into the coffee shop and points aggressively at Jonny.

Man: "OK, my lad. Let's have it. You're 10 minutes over already. I've got a queue 6ft long for those slacks."

Jonny: "Bugger. Well, OK…"

At that, he begins stripping off. Chaos ensues, as he had earlier omitted underpants from his garment choices.

Tell me, is this the kind of scene you want in your local Caffè Nero? Because it is coming your way. New research this week by the Westfield shopping centre group has found that almost half of 25 to 34-year-olds would be interested in a rental clothing scheme. These figures (reliable or not) seem to suggest that the next step in retail is non-ownership of clothes. Yes, that's right. Soon we will all just hire our garments on a day-to-day basis, happy in the knowledge that no one will ever be able to accuse us of wardrobe repetition. And the demographic that digs this preposterous idea the most? That's right: "millennials".

A piece in The Independent this week quoted the daintily named Myf Ryan, chief marketing officer of Westfield. She (for she is a she) said: "Consumers who have got used to a very disposable, fashion-based economy, where they are used to buying clothes every couple of months, are now looking to be able to change clothes every couple of days – or even every day.

"We're starting to see retailers thinking: 'How can I take advantage of that?' "

I have to ask: who changes their whole wardrobe every single day? I have, in the past, not changed my socks over a weekend. Does that make me dirty? It would certainly appear to leave me out of step with "the young", but then again, that is hardly a revelation. There are many aspects of "the young" that irritate me. That they would be happy to share a pair of tights with a total stranger is only about number 12 on the list. I'll get to numbers 1-11 very soon.