AN INDEPENDENT WEEK

WHEN STONES ARE FOR SALE, WHEN STONES ARE FOR REMOVAL AND EVEN ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS
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SO

do something in the GARDEN

So...that means we have had the reprise, the encore and the final chorus in the GARDEN. The show is now drawing to a close. The can-can flowers of the fuschias are trying not to notice, but with frost just around the corner - in some places it has already blackened the geraniums, agaves, cannas and succulents - It's time to bring the sunlovers inside for the winter.

comewords to come words to come words to come words to comeword

OR

watch a VIDEO

Or.... you could watch Rob Roy on VIDEO (CIC ) Liam Neeson is top-billed in this grubby swashbuckler about Scottish hero Rob Roy MacGregor, but the film isn't wonderful because of him: there's Tim Roth, John Hurt and Brian Cox as a trio of toe-curlingly wicked villains; and best of all there's Jessica Lange giving the performance of her career as Roy's resilient wcome words to comeword

OR

seek a BARGAIN

Or ..you can lull yourself to sleep with the new audio pillow from the Gadget Shop, Connect and two highly responsive speakers witll transmit pounds 15.95. Order on 01482 860860.More effective than opillow talk and guarantted not to disturb your partnercome words to comeword

OR

a BOOK

or..flip through the funniest BOOK of the week by Steven Appleby. He seems an affable sort of bloke but his latest collection of sketches, Miserable Families (Bloomsbury pounds 11.99), is a wicked, sometimes cruel depiction of hateful fathers, objectionable wives, difficult children, and horrible petscomeword

OR

a MEAL

Or...try the FOOD in a new brasserie, Rascasse, owned by Simon Gueller, proprietor of Millers in Harrogate, which opens on Thursday in Canal Wharf, Water Lane, Leeds (0113 244 6611). To judge by the name, which refers to the fish essential to bouillabaisse the food will be French. To judge by Mr Gueller's long association with another Leeds-born chef, Marco Pierre White, it will be good.comeword

OR

just TRAVEL

Or...if none of that appeals...TRAVEL. Go to Goa with Unijet (01444 451515. Available November 18) on a one week B and B deal to Silver Sand Holiday Village in North Goa for pounds 359 - a pounds 59 saving. Club 18-30 is launching a grown-ups only package for 25 to 45 year olds. There's none of that wild stuff here, it's just that hildren need not applycome words to comeword

Spouting

The new session of Parliament begins on Wednesday when the Queen makes "a Most Gracious Speech" from the House of Lords setting out the Government's programme. MPs will debate the proposals, Tony Blair and John Major will harangue each other, and first, two backbenchers will spout forth their loyal thanks. As an MP once told the House, their motion is "nearly always proposed by some genial old codger on the way out and seconded by an oily young man on the make."

Pouting

The Page Three girl is 25 years old this week. The first in the long line of Sun lovelies was 20 year old Stephanie Rahn who popped up on November 17. It hasn't all been frolics and fun. Debbie Linden suffered a well- documented fall into drug addiction Sam Fox, now positively matriarchal, sued her father/manager for pounds 1.2 million. Is there life after Page 3? Jane Warner was reincarnated as the be-jodphured bottom on the cover of Jilly Cooper's Riders.

Clouting

England's cricketers are back in the Republic 30 years on from the D'Oliveira affair for the first of five Tests, and face the alarming Allan Donald, who will unplug himself from his Walkman - he gees himself up with bursts of rock - and unleash himself on Mike Atherton's team on a Pretoria pitch, which is quick and bouncy. England have lost six of their last eight Test series played overseas.

TODAY

Auction......pic of gemto come here...could be half col......

The British ex- wife of the Aga Khan, Princess Salimah - aka Sally Crocker- Poole - is to sell her collection of jewellery at Christie's. The jewellery - a 13.8 diamond is valued at pounds 5m - is said to be worth pounds 10 million. A handy addition to her already substantial divorce settlement which includes a pounds 3.5 million flat in London's Hyde Park, pounds 900,000 to re-decorate it, and pounds 177,777 in pocket money a month.

Book

Noel Coward by Philip Hoare (Sinclair Stevenson. pounds 25) From documents such as unpublished plays, correspondence and diaries found in a battered attache-case belonging to Coward's mother, Hoare has detailed his family background, childhood ambitions and meteoric rise to fame. He reveals his work during the World War ll as an undercover agent for the Secret Service.

Health

Michael Heseltine goes into the London Clinic today to have a kidney stone removed. A doctor writes: A kidney stone is made up of minerals such as phosphate, calcium or uric acid which `grows' in the kidney. It is thought that heavy drinkers are more at risk. The stone needs to be removed, either by breaking it up and waiting for it to pass naturally, or by putting a tube into the kidney, disintegrating the stone and removing it.

TOMORROW

Theatre

Mother Courage and her Children. Diana Rigg teams up with director, Jonathan Kent, and composer Jonathan Dove. This is a new version by David Hare who did the same job on Kent's The Life of Galileo. Olivier, National Theatre, London SE1 (0171 928 2252).

Christmas

Regent Street's lights are switched on by a galaxy of dependable, if dull, stars - Lionel Blair, Britt Ekland, Rolf Harris and Leslie Joseph. Apart from a six year period of recession and darkness in the 1970s, the lights have lit up merry shoppers since 1954. There will be 8,328 lamps in the shape of crowns. Between now and December 25, pounds 330m will be spent.

Royals

Prince Charles is 47. Other 47-year-olds: Jeremy Beadle, Andrew Loyd Webber, Virginia Bottomley, Mark Phillips, Shaking Stevens, Nicholas Soames MP.

Lottery

How does our lottery - one year old today - compare with the rest? The Institute of Public Policy Research will tell us today. Six facts: Up to 30million play each week, we spend pounds 2 a week on on-line tickets, pounds 1.50 on scratch cards, it has created 127 millionaires, the biggest win is pounds 22.6m, the chances of winnning are one in 14million.

WEDNESDAY 15

Heritage

It's the closing date for bids for the Royal Naval College at Greenwich. Those who have entered the race have remained secretive, though the University of Greenwich, in league with the National Maritime Museum have declared their interest. D-Day - hoteliers need not apply - is months away.

Activist....pic.....

Harry Wu, the Chinese-American human rights activist is at the School of Oriental and African studies in ..........at 1pm to highlight goods made in Chinese slave labour camps. There may be as many as 50 million - many political prisoners - in appallling conditions. He is expected to announce further atrocities.

Football

While England play Switzerland in a friendly at Wembley (Bring on Le Tiss, Tel) , much more will be at stake when the Republic of Ireland travel to Lisbon in the final round of European Championship qualifying matches. Jack Charlton's team will probably have to win - against the leaders in their group - to reach next summer's finals. If they fail, expect Big Jack to announce his resignation and the end of an era in Irish football.

THURSDAY 16

Drink...with graphic...

Will Beaujolais Nouveau survive anti-French sentiment? CND plans to sell Chateau Chirac to publicise its campaign against French nuclear tests. This year's wine is fruity and soft giving it a rounder, lighter taste compared with 1994 which was tannic and hard. The import figures show that the peculiarly British obsession with the drink peaked in the dim distant yuppie past.

Book

Rolling Stone: Images of Rock `n' Roll - This collection of photographs contains gritty images of stars spanning five decades including Elvis, Buddy Holly, Paul Weller and Michael Stipe captured by photographers such as Annie Leibovitz, David Bailey and Dezo Hoffman. (Virgin. pounds 30).

Foreign

Algeria goes to the polls five years after the military `cancelled' the Islamic Movement's victory. The more radical Islamic groups are unable or unwilling to run this time and incumbent president, Limiane Zeroual, is bound to win. The question is: will the electorate accept the result? Will bombs explode in Paris?

FRIDAY 17

Film

The Aberystwyth Film Festival premiers Madgascar Skin . It was filmed on location in Pembokeshire and stars Bernard Hill and John Hannah. Director: Chris Newby. In London, La Haine opens at........ Mathieu Kassovitz lights the fuse with this inflammatory black-and-white drama, which follows three young Parisian friends as they while away the day after the riot before. A passionate study of social breakdown through the eye of a poet.

Game...pic asked for...

Go straight to a fortune....Monopoly is 60 years old today. It has the same board and box that it had when launched, has sold 20 million copies with a turnover of pounds 303billion - monopoly money, of course. A celebration party will beheld at the Park Lane Hotel, London with a with a $2 million set as its centrepiece. In World War II special sets were produced for the War Office containing maps showing escape routes, files, local currency and compasses and despatched by the Red Cross to POWs.

US elections

The Republican Presidential hopefuls gather in New Hampshire for a gentle Q and A session to stake their claims to fight Bill Clinton. Robert Dole is miles ahead in opinion polls with a rag tag of nine at his heels. One of the more intriguing is Malcolm S. Forbes, son of the late multi-millionaire. He has no political background but he does have lots of money.

THE WEEKEND 18 / 19

Music....pic...

f you have missed David Bowie and Morrissey so far, they are at the London Wembley Arena (pounds 25 7.30pm). Bowie returns to the live circuit thankfully free of huge glass spiders. Who knows what else he'll bring instead? The songs from his thrilling new album Outside (RCA) will be a start - they're the best he's recorded in ten years.

Rugby

All eyes on Twickers for more South Africans. This time England meet the champions on a big day for Twickenham. South Africa will provide a stern test for an England team - which could feature South African Mike Catt as England's fly half - rebuilding in the post-Andrew/Moore/Richards era. This important match also marks the official opening of the pounds 25.5 million West Stand, completing the pounds 70 million rebuilding programme begun five years ago. This will increase the ground's capacity to 75,000. The Scrum Bar under the East Stand will need to almost double their staff to 300 to cope with the thirsty masses, expecting to sell 60,000 pints at each match! Kick off: 2.30.

Consumer...pic....

Now for the first sun- powered watch. Junghans' Mega Solar Ceramic time piece cuts a futuristic dash with a strap that artfully conceals a radio- controlled watch antennae and a six month power reserve. It's a mere pounds 275. Contact 01908 220311.

Public relations

What's the collective noun for a group of PR consultants? The largest such assembly will convene at Stratford-upon-Avon for the annual conference for the Institute of Public Relations. Delegates, bombarded by various workshops and threatened by downsizing will study image consultancy and psychology. They will be urged to "take risks and lower blood pressure at the same time." With juggling classes.

Theatre

The fifth Martini British Regional Theatre Awards ceremony will be held at the International Convention Centre in Birmingham. Categories include Most Welcoming Theatre and Best Touring Production. Famous names waiting to hear if they have won include: David Suchet for What a Performance; Julie Christie for Old Times; Gwen Taylor for Love and Anthony Sher for Titus Andronicus.

Research: Ben Summers, Lindsey Sheffield.

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