Applications are invited for the post of Clean Party candidate

Click to follow
The Independent Online
So who might be Tatton's Mr Clean ? Who might be the White Knight who would stand on a platform of restoring probity to public life, who himself - or herself - would be, beyond all doubt, Untouched By Sleaze ?

In the wake of Jon Kelly's proposal to stand down, we asked a number of public figures to recommend an incorruptible of their own. These are their suggestions :

Writer Julie Burchill: "David Attenborough. Because he's everything a man should be and you just know he's never done anything wrong in his life."

Agony auntie Clare Rayner: "Betty Boothroyd - she'd run away with it. She should give her safe Labour seat to someone else and stand opposite Hamilton. Everybody knows she's the most honourable woman."

Martin Amis: "Not many people spring to mind. I would suggest Joe Kinnear (manager of Wimbledon), I trust him. He looks straight to me."

Campaigner Mary Whitehouse: "I would suggest Joanna Bogle. She is an executive member of our Viewers and Listeners Association and she is a very good person. She has spoken out on many moral issues."

Astrologer Shelley von Strunckel: "Chelsea Clinton, in the great tradition of American females adding to British politics, viz Viscountess Nancy Astor. Chelsea's virtue and far-reaching experience on the political front equip her for the task."

Publicist Max Clifford: "Glen Hoddle. He stands up for what he believes in and what he thinks and feels, and he's a Christian of course. Hopefully he'd be able to work out the right moves."

Author Barbara Cartland: "We haven't got the leaders we had in the past. Naturally I want the Conservatives to win - they're all terribly nice, but they're not very strong. I can't think of anybody that would be as great a leader as Winston Churchill, when he said something you believed it."

Paul Johnson: "I'm on the side of Neil Hamilton. I think he's been the victim of a vicious campaign by Mohammed Al-Fayed and the Guardian. So I think he should stand."

Bernard Ingham: "I think the whole idea is preposte- rous. Perhaps Mr Al-Fayed would like to stand, bearing in mind that he has already contributed pounds 1m to stamping out corruption."

Baroness Mary Warnock: "It's a damn fool thing to do. I can't think of anybody under the age of 80 who would be suitable enough to stand."

Do you have a candidate of your own ? Send your suggestion to Clean, Independent on Sunday, 1, Canada Square, London E14 5DL.

Comments