Bunhill: With Mary and Pat by yon bonnie banks

That'll be the phone. Jings, crivens, it's my Scottish cousin "Baplaw" calling from his rococo offices at Scottish Business Insider magazine, with a wee tale from their delightfully scurrilous "Bottom Line" diary.

As those arriving at Kings Cross or Euston stations and trying to pay for a taxi will no doubt be aware, the Scottish banks issue their own notes - and in July the Clydesdale Bank decided it would do something a little bit special. It announced that its new pounds 10 note, to be issued that month, would be the first to feature a Scots woman: Mary Slessor, an Aberdeen-born Victorian missionary who strived to improve the living conditions and education of the people of Calabar, in what is now Nigeria. The good lady had been inspired by David Livingstone, whom she would usurp on the Clydesdale's tenner.

Just hold on a minute, went the cry from the Bank of Scotland. We've already had a Scots woman on a note - and it was a pounds 20 note to boot. Two years earlier, said the BoS, Ms Pat Mullen, a researcher at the Scottish College of Textiles and living in the Borders town of Peebles, had appeared on their pounds 20 note above the heading "Education and Research". Ms Mullen was presented with a commemorative plaque by the BoS and has since featured in an exhibition on women and banknotes.

On 5 July the Herald newspaper gleefully pointed out to the Clydesdale where it had gone astray, prompting the sullen response from a spokesman: "Well, she is the first woman to appear on the front of a note."

Exit the Clydesdale, tail between legs. But not for long. Mary Slessor will assume her rightful place in banking history. You see, Pat Mullen is English, born in Preston, Lancashire. And she banks with the Clydesdale.

The Scottish banks not only issue their own pounds 5, pounds 10, pounds 20 and pounds 50 notes et al - the greenback is alive and rustling north of the border in the shape of the pounds 1 note. Of course, Bank of England currency is also in circulation, but when the pounds 1 coin first migrated north it proved distinctly unpopular, quickly acquiring the nickname of the "Thatcher". Why? Because it was brassy with pretensions to be a sovereign.

Qwerty fighting

Where are they now? The first in a series of, er, one - unless other candidates present themselves. Suggestions to the Bunhill mailbox please. This week, Myron W Krueger.

It's a terrible life we live at the end of the second millennium - chained to computer terminals, eating at our desks, working all the hours God sends as the paperwork piles up relentlessly. If only there was a way to channel our frustrations with this sedentary existence while keeping up the workrate on the great corporate hamster wheel. Enter Dr Krueger.

Myron Krueger is a technological visionary, coiner of the term "artificial reality" and inventor of the concept of Videoplace - "an artificial reality that can be experienced without wearing special goggles or clothing". In 1990, Life magazine described him as a "wavemaker of the decade ahead". Yet here at Bunhill Towers we are surprised to note, as the decade moves into its dotage, that there has been no commercial waves made by what is surely his greatest vision of future office life: the Kung Fu Typewriter.

Dr Krueger proposed a keyboard the size of a small wall, each key a mini- punchbag, where employees could keep up the keystrokes while getting some Prince Naseem-style exercise. So why has no forward-thinking entrepreneur acted upon his foresight and begun producing computer keyboards in a joint marketing deal with boxing promoter Don King? No doubt they all realised that sales would fall off when a certain type of manager realised that the next time he asked his secretary to go out and find a little something for the wife's birthday he might be met not with grudging compliance, but with a flying drop-kick to the chest.

Tony BLAIR, we are led to believe, sees the "Tiger Economies" of the Far East as models that Britain would do well to emulate. No doubt, then, that he will have alerted the Home Secretary, Jack Straw, to Malaysia's latest crime-busting initiative. Convicted litterers in Malaysia will be required to sweep the streets wearing T-shirts bearing the message "I am a litterbug". It's bound to catch on here. Ernest Saunders could have a commemorative shirt bearing the logo "I can't really remember what I did but as soon as I got out I felt much better". As a temporary resident of a Tiger Economy nation, Nick Leeson is probably already resplendent in a shirt that says "I might be locked up in a cell with 25 others but I'm going to make a fortune from the movie rights when I get out". But the shirt de la shirt will be on display in gyms across the Square Mile, where City boys will be wearing, as icons of their prowess, designer cotton numbers adorned with the words: "I drank two bottles of Krug, did six lines of coke, wrapped the Porsche round a lampost, posted pounds 50,000 bail with the platinum AmEx and got probation after I turned in the guy on the next desk for making a nifty pounds 5m on an insider trading deal."

Arts and Entertainment
Gregg Wallace in Summer's Supermarket Secrets
tv All of this year's 15 contestants have now been named
The giant banner displayed by Legia Warsaw supporters last night
football Polish side was ejected from Champions League
Arts and Entertainment
Could we see Iain back in the Bake Off tent next week?
tv Contestant teased Newsnight viewers on potential reappearance
i100(and it's got nothing to do with the Great British Bake Off)
ebooksAn evocation of the conflict through the eyes of those who lived through it
The Ukip leader has consistently refused to be drawn on where he would mount an attempt to secure a parliamentary seat
voicesNigel Farage: Those who predicted we would lose momentum heading into the 2015 election are going to have to think again
Arts and Entertainment
Cara Delevingne made her acting debut in Anna Karenina in 2012
film Cara Delevingne 'in talks' to star in Zoolander sequel
Mario Balotelli pictured in his Liverpool shirt for the first time
Life and Style
Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Money & Business

SAS Business Analyst - Credit Risk - Retail Banking

£450 - £500 per day: Orgtel: SAS Business Analyst, London, Banking, Credit Ris...

Project Manager - Pensions

£32000 - £38000 Per Annum Bonus, Life Insurance + Other Benefits: Clearwater P...

KYC Analyst, Birmingham - £200-£250 p/d

£200 - £250 per day + competitive: Orgtel: KYC Analyst, Key Banking Client, Bi...

Test Manager - Banking - Yorkshire - £450 per day

£400 - £500 per day: Orgtel: Test Manager - Banking - West Yorkshire - £400-£5...

Day In a Page

Ukraine crisis: The phoney war is over as Russian troops and armour pour across the border

The phoney war is over

Russian troops and armour pour into Ukraine
Potatoes could be off the menu as crop pests threaten UK

Potatoes could be off the menu as crop pests threaten UK

The world’s entire food system is under attack - and Britain is most at risk, according to a new study
Gangnam smile: why the Chinese are flocking to South Korea to buy a new face

Gangnam smile: why the Chinese are flocking to South Korea to buy a new face

Seoul's plastic surgery industry is booming thanks to the popularity of the K-Pop look
From Mozart to Orson Welles: Creative geniuses who peaked too soon

Creative geniuses who peaked too soon

After the death of Sandy Wilson, 90, who wrote his only hit musical in his twenties, John Walsh wonders what it's like to peak too soon and go on to live a life more ordinary
Caught in the crossfire of a cyber Cold War

Caught in the crossfire of a cyber Cold War

Fears are mounting that Vladimir Putin has instructed hackers to target banks like JP Morgan
Salomé's feminine wiles have inspired writers, painters and musicians for 2,000 years

Salomé: A head for seduction

Salomé's feminine wiles have inspired writers, painters and musicians for 2,000 years. Now audiences can meet the Biblical femme fatale in two new stage and screen projects
From Bram Stoker to Stanley Kubrick, the British Library's latest exhibition celebrates all things Gothic

British Library celebrates all things Gothic

Forthcoming exhibition Terror and Wonder: The Gothic Imagination will be the UK's largest ever celebration of Gothic literature
The Hard Rock Café's owners are embroiled in a bitter legal dispute - but is the restaurant chain worth fighting for?

Is the Hard Rock Café worth fighting for?

The restaurant chain's owners are currently embroiled in a bitter legal dispute
Caribbean cuisine is becoming increasingly popular in the UK ... and there's more to it than jerk chicken at carnival

In search of Caribbean soul food

Caribbean cuisine is becoming increasingly popular in the UK ... and there's more to it than jerk chicken at carnival
11 best face powders

11 best face powders

Sweep away shiny skin with our pick of the best pressed and loose powder bases
England vs Norway: Roy Hodgson's hands tied by exploding top flight

Roy Hodgson's hands tied by exploding top flight

Lack of Englishmen at leading Premier League clubs leaves manager hamstrung
Angel Di Maria and Cristiano Ronaldo: A tale of two Manchester United No 7s

Di Maria and Ronaldo: A tale of two Manchester United No 7s

They both inherited the iconic shirt at Old Trafford, but the £59.7m new boy is joining a club in a very different state
Israel-Gaza conflict: No victory for Israel despite weeks of death and devastation

Robert Fisk: No victory for Israel despite weeks of devastation

Palestinians have won: they are still in Gaza, and Hamas is still there
Mary Beard writes character reference for Twitter troll who called her a 'slut'

Unlikely friends: Mary Beard and the troll who called her a ‘filthy old slut’

The Cambridge University classicist even wrote the student a character reference
America’s new apartheid: Prosperous white districts are choosing to break away from black cities and go it alone

America’s new apartheid

Prosperous white districts are choosing to break away from black cities and go it alone