Bunhill: With Mary and Pat by yon bonnie banks

That'll be the phone. Jings, crivens, it's my Scottish cousin "Baplaw" calling from his rococo offices at Scottish Business Insider magazine, with a wee tale from their delightfully scurrilous "Bottom Line" diary.

As those arriving at Kings Cross or Euston stations and trying to pay for a taxi will no doubt be aware, the Scottish banks issue their own notes - and in July the Clydesdale Bank decided it would do something a little bit special. It announced that its new pounds 10 note, to be issued that month, would be the first to feature a Scots woman: Mary Slessor, an Aberdeen-born Victorian missionary who strived to improve the living conditions and education of the people of Calabar, in what is now Nigeria. The good lady had been inspired by David Livingstone, whom she would usurp on the Clydesdale's tenner.

Just hold on a minute, went the cry from the Bank of Scotland. We've already had a Scots woman on a note - and it was a pounds 20 note to boot. Two years earlier, said the BoS, Ms Pat Mullen, a researcher at the Scottish College of Textiles and living in the Borders town of Peebles, had appeared on their pounds 20 note above the heading "Education and Research". Ms Mullen was presented with a commemorative plaque by the BoS and has since featured in an exhibition on women and banknotes.

On 5 July the Herald newspaper gleefully pointed out to the Clydesdale where it had gone astray, prompting the sullen response from a spokesman: "Well, she is the first woman to appear on the front of a note."

Exit the Clydesdale, tail between legs. But not for long. Mary Slessor will assume her rightful place in banking history. You see, Pat Mullen is English, born in Preston, Lancashire. And she banks with the Clydesdale.

The Scottish banks not only issue their own pounds 5, pounds 10, pounds 20 and pounds 50 notes et al - the greenback is alive and rustling north of the border in the shape of the pounds 1 note. Of course, Bank of England currency is also in circulation, but when the pounds 1 coin first migrated north it proved distinctly unpopular, quickly acquiring the nickname of the "Thatcher". Why? Because it was brassy with pretensions to be a sovereign.

Qwerty fighting

Where are they now? The first in a series of, er, one - unless other candidates present themselves. Suggestions to the Bunhill mailbox please. This week, Myron W Krueger.

It's a terrible life we live at the end of the second millennium - chained to computer terminals, eating at our desks, working all the hours God sends as the paperwork piles up relentlessly. If only there was a way to channel our frustrations with this sedentary existence while keeping up the workrate on the great corporate hamster wheel. Enter Dr Krueger.

Myron Krueger is a technological visionary, coiner of the term "artificial reality" and inventor of the concept of Videoplace - "an artificial reality that can be experienced without wearing special goggles or clothing". In 1990, Life magazine described him as a "wavemaker of the decade ahead". Yet here at Bunhill Towers we are surprised to note, as the decade moves into its dotage, that there has been no commercial waves made by what is surely his greatest vision of future office life: the Kung Fu Typewriter.

Dr Krueger proposed a keyboard the size of a small wall, each key a mini- punchbag, where employees could keep up the keystrokes while getting some Prince Naseem-style exercise. So why has no forward-thinking entrepreneur acted upon his foresight and begun producing computer keyboards in a joint marketing deal with boxing promoter Don King? No doubt they all realised that sales would fall off when a certain type of manager realised that the next time he asked his secretary to go out and find a little something for the wife's birthday he might be met not with grudging compliance, but with a flying drop-kick to the chest.

Tony BLAIR, we are led to believe, sees the "Tiger Economies" of the Far East as models that Britain would do well to emulate. No doubt, then, that he will have alerted the Home Secretary, Jack Straw, to Malaysia's latest crime-busting initiative. Convicted litterers in Malaysia will be required to sweep the streets wearing T-shirts bearing the message "I am a litterbug". It's bound to catch on here. Ernest Saunders could have a commemorative shirt bearing the logo "I can't really remember what I did but as soon as I got out I felt much better". As a temporary resident of a Tiger Economy nation, Nick Leeson is probably already resplendent in a shirt that says "I might be locked up in a cell with 25 others but I'm going to make a fortune from the movie rights when I get out". But the shirt de la shirt will be on display in gyms across the Square Mile, where City boys will be wearing, as icons of their prowess, designer cotton numbers adorned with the words: "I drank two bottles of Krug, did six lines of coke, wrapped the Porsche round a lampost, posted pounds 50,000 bail with the platinum AmEx and got probation after I turned in the guy on the next desk for making a nifty pounds 5m on an insider trading deal."

News
peopleFrankie Boyle responds to referendum result in characteristically offensive style
Arts and Entertainment
Friends is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year
tvSeries celebrates 20th anniversary
Sport
Twelve of the winning bidders will each host three group matches
football
Life and Style
Jack Cooksey goes for the grand unveiling - moments before dropping his new iPhone 6 on the floor
iphone launch
PROMOTED VIDEO
News
ebooksAn unforgettable anthology of contemporary reportage
Sport
A 'Sir Alex Feguson' tattoo
football

Arts and Entertainment
Ben Whishaw is replacing Colin Firth as the voice of Paddington Bear
tv

Thriller is set in the secret world of British espionage

Life and Style
life

News
ScienceGallery: Otherwise known as 'the best damn photos of space you'll see till 2015'
Life and Style
fashion

Bomber jacket worn by Mary Berry sells out within an hour

Latest stories from i100
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Money & Business

SQL Developer - Watford/NW London - £320 - £330 p/d - 6 months

£320 - £330 per day: Ashdown Group: The Ashdown Group have been engaged by a l...

Head of Audit

To £75,000 + Pension + Benefits + Bonus: Saxton Leigh: My client is looking f...

Audit Manager Central Functions

To £85,000 + banking benefits: Saxton Leigh: You will be expected to carry out...

Credit Risk Audit Manager

Up to £90,000 + benefits: Saxton Leigh: Credit Risk Audit Manager required to ...

Day In a Page

Mystery of the Ground Zero wedding photo

A shot in the dark

Mystery of the wedding photo from Ground Zero
His life, the universe and everything

His life, the universe and everything

New biography sheds light on comic genius of Douglas Adams
Save us from small screen superheroes

Save us from small screen superheroes

Shows like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D are little more than marketing tools
Reach for the skies

Reach for the skies

From pools to football pitches, rooftop living is looking up
These are the 12 best hotel spas in the UK

12 best hotel spas in the UK

Some hotels go all out on facilities; others stand out for the sheer quality of treatments
These Iranian-controlled Shia militias used to specialise in killing American soldiers. Now they are fighting Isis, backed up by US airstrikes

Widespread fear of Isis is producing strange bedfellows

Iranian-controlled Shia militias that used to kill American soldiers are now fighting Isis, helped by US airstrikes
Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Topshop goes part Athena poster, part last spring Prada

Shoppers don't come to Topshop for the unique
How to make a Lego masterpiece

How to make a Lego masterpiece

Toy breaks out of the nursery and heads for the gallery
Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Meet the ‘Endies’ – city dwellers who are too poor to have fun

Urbanites are cursed with an acronym pointing to Employed but No Disposable Income or Savings
Paisley’s decision to make peace with IRA enemies might remind the Arabs of Sadat

Ian Paisley’s decision to make peace with his IRA enemies

His Save Ulster from Sodomy campaign would surely have been supported by many a Sunni imam
'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

'She was a singer, a superstar, an addict, but to me, her mother, she is simply Amy'

Exclusive extract from Janis Winehouse's poignant new memoir
Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

Is this the role to win Cumberbatch an Oscar?

The Imitation Game, film review
England and Roy Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption in Basel

England and Hodgson take a joint step towards redemption

Welbeck double puts England on the road to Euro 2016
Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Relatives fight over Vivian Maier’s rare photos

Pictures removed from public view as courts decide ownership
‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

‘Fashion has to be fun. It’s a big business, not a cure for cancer’

Donatella Versace at New York Fashion Week