Column Eight: God rest ye jobless gentlemen

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The Independent Online
Seasonal cheer is provided by Robin Angus of Smith New Court, in the form of an 18-verse Christmas carol titled enticingly 'Hark] The herald angels snore . . .' Angus trills:

In the City, dealsters frown

at modern trends like 'sizing-down' -

Brown envelopes, black plastic bags

And double-breasted suits in rags]

Red with shame their boyish faces]

Red their bankbooks] Red their braces]

Docklands flats got traded in

For cardboard homes at Lincoln's Inn . . .

Their parents' spirits also fail -

That nice Old Rectory's up for sale.

What has caused this dreadful fate?

A Gooda Walker syndicate]

Sell the silver] Flog each painting]

Brandy, quick] Poor Mummy's fainting]

Daddy (dazed) must weep, dismayed,

O'er bills for school fees yet unpaid . . .

Hopes of a quieter life in insurance circles now that the rumbustious Alfred Doll- Steinberg (the freshly departed head of the Gooda Walker action group) has strutted off stage left, appear to be premature.

Mr Doll-Steinberg's successor may not be able to pillory Lloyd's through friends in the House of Commons. But Michael Deeny has an impressive record when it comes to big noise. He is a concert promoter for acts such as U2, Pavarotti and Bruce Springsteen.

What the Japanese have done to rebuild the British car industry the Germans are going to do for yoghurt. No longer a health food fad for people into slurping slightly off milk, yoghurt is a multi-millon- pound industry; Britons gulp on average 33 pots of the stuff a year, almost 1.9 billion units.

According to the Economist Intelligence Unit, consumption of luxury yoghurts alone has leapt by 75 per cent in the past two years to 56,000 tons, enough to fill . . . well, quite a few swimming pools.

But we Brits still lag far behind the Dutch, who consume 32 kilos of the stuff per head per year compared with our measly 4.7 kilos. The German fermented milk giant Muller Dairy plans to change all that by building a twin-pot yoghurt plant in Telford. Get gulping.

Arecent letter to Euro Disney shareholders is almost Bambi-like in its gooeyness. 'Today, your company is led by an American who loves France and by a Frenchman with great affection for America.' Yuk. Bring back the trade war.