Kingfisher takes a hammer to the English language

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The Independent Online

Did you think flogging screws, drill bits and other DIY equipment would be a simple business? Think again. B&Q owner Kingfisher wants you and I to know that... well, I think it wants you and I to know things are going OK – but I’m not entirely sure. Apparently  the “first wave of unifying our ‘core essential’ ranges” is “to land in stores next year”.

Meanwhile the company is taking action to deal with “surplus space” in “over-spaced catchments”. A programme to unify “Goods Not For Resale (GNFR)” is apparently under way. Oh and the “first wave of unified spend” [£350m] is “on track to land next year”, while a unified IT platform, which is apparently a “key enabler of ‘ONE’ Kingfisher”, is also “on track”.

The group is, meanwhile, pursuing a “limited number of formats and omnichannel everywhere”, while “a unique, differentiated offer” will apparently drive sales at good prices. Perhaps the next step in Kingfisher’s strategy might be to hire someone who can do a little DIY work on its use of the English language.

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