Simon English: Hands up for a really mean sacking


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The Independent Online

Outlook The initials of the Swiss bank UBS used to stand for, informally you understand, Utter Bull Shit.

Now they've announced plans to do away with thousands of London bankers, they stand for U've Been Sacked.

City sacking season is upon us but it's not what it used to be, at least in terms of brutality.

Asking around for the meanest way anyone I know got fired, this yarn came back:

A trading desk in 1992.

The head of trading sits at a circular desk with 21 brokers all around him.

It is 1.30pm on Friday.

"Hands up if you've got a job," says the boss. They all put their hands up.

The head trader points at our victim.

"Put yours down and f*** off to HR – you're figures are shit."

And there at the doorway was a security guard with a black bin bag…

At least there were other jobs to go to back then.