Business Diary: 19/06/2010
Saturday 19 June 2010
More Ultimate Violence tosh
More from those charismatic chaps at Ultimate Violence, who are (unfortunately) coming over to London from Las Vegas to offer training to City executives who feel nervous about encounters with the little people affected by them pushing the economy off a cliff.
The martial arts "training" is apparently sponsored by the tailor Cad and the Dandy, which gushes about the "brand fit" and talks about "seeing off" rival Moss Bros with its suits. If you needed a reason never to visit one of their outlets, you've certainly got one now.
What are they on about?
Diary wants to say hearty congratulations to Dipak Warren, who has (so we are told) just been hired by Aviva from her old job as underwriter and director of the Mitsui Syndicate in London's insurance market. Just one question: exactly what is it that Aviva's new director of "corporate risk solutions" will be doing in her new role? And how is the no doubt prodigiously talented Ms Warren going to explain what the new job's all about to her family and friends?
More corporate abuse of English
If a director of corporate risk solutions induces a degree of head-scratching, here's some more tangled syntax from the stockbroker Killik, talking about something called Legal & General's "Deep Value" fund. It says excitedly: "The manager's bottom-up investing style, with a focus on a combination of deep-value stocks (currently 55 per cent of portfolio) and strong growth stocks (45 per cent of portfolio) continues to pay off." How? And why exactly would you want to invest in such a thing?
At last, a little elegance ...
David Buik, the sage of BGC Partners, offers an intriguing term which shows that not everyone in the City has succumbed to corporate illiteracy. Describing the overnight performance of US markets, he says that only a late surge pushed shares "over the plimsoll line". For the uninformed, that's the marker line that goes all the way around a cargo ship to tell its owner if it is light, full or overladen.
- 2 Harry Potter fans can apply to the Hogwarts-inspired College of Wizardry
- 3 Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
- 4 Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
- 5 Orange Wednesdays are no more
Weather bomb in pictures: Storms cuts power for tens of thousands – and snow is on the way
Jessica Chambers: 19-year-old woman 'doused with lighter fluid and burned alive' in the US
Russell Brand calls Nigel Farage 'poundshop Enoch Powell' in BBC Question Time debate
Russell Brand was rendered speechless on Question Time by this man
Fury at Airbus after it hints the super-jumbo may be mothballed
Disgruntled RBS worker writes hilarious open letter to Russell Brand after anti-capitalist publicity stunt leaves him hungry
Nigel Farage defends Kerry Smith 'ch***y' comment: 'If you are going for a Chinese, what do you say you’re going for?'
Nigel Farage's approval rating hits 'record low' as popularity suffers in wake of Ukip sex scandal
Rozanne Duncan: Ukip expels councillor for 'jaw-dropping' comments made in BBC TV interview
Sony hack: Angelina Jolie branded 'seriously out of her mind' in further embarrassing leaked email saga
Panic Saturday: 13 million Britons spend £1.2bn – while 13 million others across the country live in poverty unable to afford food
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