Business Diary: 19/06/2010
Saturday 19 June 2010
More Ultimate Violence tosh
More from those charismatic chaps at Ultimate Violence, who are (unfortunately) coming over to London from Las Vegas to offer training to City executives who feel nervous about encounters with the little people affected by them pushing the economy off a cliff.
The martial arts "training" is apparently sponsored by the tailor Cad and the Dandy, which gushes about the "brand fit" and talks about "seeing off" rival Moss Bros with its suits. If you needed a reason never to visit one of their outlets, you've certainly got one now.
What are they on about?
Diary wants to say hearty congratulations to Dipak Warren, who has (so we are told) just been hired by Aviva from her old job as underwriter and director of the Mitsui Syndicate in London's insurance market. Just one question: exactly what is it that Aviva's new director of "corporate risk solutions" will be doing in her new role? And how is the no doubt prodigiously talented Ms Warren going to explain what the new job's all about to her family and friends?
More corporate abuse of English
If a director of corporate risk solutions induces a degree of head-scratching, here's some more tangled syntax from the stockbroker Killik, talking about something called Legal & General's "Deep Value" fund. It says excitedly: "The manager's bottom-up investing style, with a focus on a combination of deep-value stocks (currently 55 per cent of portfolio) and strong growth stocks (45 per cent of portfolio) continues to pay off." How? And why exactly would you want to invest in such a thing?
At last, a little elegance ...
David Buik, the sage of BGC Partners, offers an intriguing term which shows that not everyone in the City has succumbed to corporate illiteracy. Describing the overnight performance of US markets, he says that only a late surge pushed shares "over the plimsoll line". For the uninformed, that's the marker line that goes all the way around a cargo ship to tell its owner if it is light, full or overladen.
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- 2 Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Pro-Russian rebel 'admits to shooting down plane'
- 3 Louis van Gaal gets tough with Manchester United players, with Darren Fletcher and Luke Shaw berated in public and Phil Jones left looking bemused
- 4 Is Gideon Levy the most hated man in Israel or just the most heroic?
- 5 Peaches Geldof inquest: Tragic final moments of socialite's life reveal she lied to husband about failed heroin tests
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Pro-Russian rebel 'admits to shooting down plane'
Israel-Gaza conflict: Deadly flechette shells 'used by Israeli military in Gaza Strip’
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Blogger captures footage ‘showing BUK missile launcher that shot down jet’ now back in Russia
Peaches Geldof inquest: Tragic final moments of socialite's life reveal she lied to husband about failed heroin tests
Israel-Gaza conflict: The myth of Hamas’s human shields
Malaysia Airlines flight MH17 crash: 'Nine Britons, 23 Americans and 80 children' feared dead after Boeing passenger jet is 'shot down' near Ukraine-Russia border
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Vladimir Putin is given 'one last chance' to end hostilities in Ukraine
The 'scroungers’ fight back: The welfare claimants battling to alter stereotypes
The truth about conspiracy theories is that some require considering
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Ukrainian military jet was flying close to passenger plane before it was shot down, says Russian officer
Malaysia Airlines MH17 crash: Massive rise in sale of British arms to Russia
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