Here's a tale for our times.
The first question that Enda Kenny was asked in an interview published yesterday by German newspaper Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung was "Do you speak German?" The Irish Prime Minister confessed that never having studied the language, a cheery "Guten Tag" was about the best that he could manage. But he was quick to add that his children were learning German at school. At least the Kenny kids might have a future in the new Europe then.
Only tweet when you're winning
The Scottish Premier League needs a new sponsor after Clydesdale Bank said this week that it did not intend to renew its contract with the elite level of football north of the border. The decision won't be much of a surprise to anyone who has ever looked at the Twitter account Clydesdale set up to document its relationship with Scottish football – it's not managed a single tweet yet.
No hope for their students
Now, we don't want to be pedants – and this is not the fault of the kids themselves, you understand – but Young Chamber UK really needs some grammar lessons. The organisation, which helps introduce students to the world of work, has sent us a note about a visit that Mark Prisk, the Enterprise minister, is making to a school. It's entitled "Ministers visit to Aylsham High School". Guys, set an example to your charges – where's the apostrophe?
When the City was moved
Standard Chartered's Seeing Is Believing campaign to end avoidable blindness, often featured in these pages, is enough to defeat cynicism even in hard-bitten City analysts. The bank's recent investor trip to Asia took in a visit to a school for the visually impaired in Taiwan. Ian Gordon of Evolution's verdict: "It ranks as one of the most humbling experiences of my life."