And the gold medal for brown-nosing goes to... Tim Linacre, chief executive of Panmure Gordon, who has penned the following note to clients. "We now have a new Government and a new Prime Minister. Some of us at Panmure Gordon were lucky enough to work with and for Ian Cameron, David's father, when he was a senior partner of our firm. I am glad for the country's sake that David chose to follow a different career path." At least we think this is brown-nosing – unless Linacre is expressing his relief that Cameron junior avoided stockbroking.
The Leahy tribute crunched
The tributes to Sir Terry Leahy that have poured in following the announcement of the Tesco boss's retirement have not been received warmly everywhere. Will Chase, the founder of Tyrrells, the posh crisps company, had a very public row with Tesco in 2006 after the grocer began stocking his products, at low prices, despite his refusal to supply it. Yesterday, Mr Chase was touting himself around as an alternative commentator on Sir Terry. One assumes he isn't offering quite the same sort of fulsome praise.
Tesco's slippery customers
Still on Tesco, even the all-powerful Sir Terry sometimes meets his match. The East Riding Mail reports that a supermarket Tesco hopes to build in Hornsea in Yorkshire may be delayed because grass snakes and newts have been spotted on the grocer's chosen site. Since both are protected species under the Wildlife and Countryside Act, Sir Terry, due to leave next March, might not be around for this store's opening ceremony, as the grocer had planned.
BP feels the satirists' claws
Yet more bad news for BP, which is now becoming a target of YouTube satirists. There are all sorts of clips that rage at Tony Hayward and his colleagues in one way or another, but one of the most savage is "The BP oil spill re-enacted by cats in one minute". The feline playing Hayward is possibly the most sinister thing currently on the internet.