Credit crisis diary: Lambert puts hisfoot in his mouth

Much mirth at the Treasury Select Committee hearings yesterday where Richard Lambert decided to lambast financiers who claimed to be able to "make gold out of stone or whatever it is... er... alchemy". "That's a bit unfortunate," pointed out the MP Sally Keeble. The CBI chief was sitting next to Jon Moulton, über-financier at Alchemy Partners.

Curse of Davos strikes

One man who won't be appearing at Davos next month, as billed in the World Economic Forum preliminary programme, to lecture on "Innovation: the view from Asia", is B Ramalinga Raju, founder of Satyam, who is currently languishing in an Indian jail on fraud charges. A great shame. At the WEF Delhi conference in November, Mr Raju offered this pearl: "The manner in which value is created is different to the old ways." Not so different, as it turns out.

Come on guys, it's for charity

The International Financial Review's annual awards provide the perfect chart of the financial crisis. Three years ago, Goldman Sachs gave £600,000 in the charity auction held at each awards bash. Last year, the donation was down to £250,000. And at this year's do, held on Monday night, all Goldman could manage was a paltry £10,000.

The perfect woman for the job

Who better than Barbara Ridpath to head the International Centre for Financial Regulation, an august new body launched yesterday as theUK seeks to influence the debate about regulation in a post-credit crunch world. Ms Ridpath waspreviously head of ratings services for Europe at Standard & Poor's,one of the organisations that did such sterling work warning us all about the risks taken by the banking sector. Oh, hang on, that's not quite right.

Save your kisses

Heard this one? Two women are walking through the forest whena frog appeals to them. "Help me, ladies, I'm an investment banker who, through an evil witch's curse, has been transformed into a frog. If you kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state." The first womangrabs the frog, and stuffs it insideher handbag. The second woman, aghast, screams: "What are you doing, didn't you hear him?" The second woman replies: "Sure,but these days a talking frog isworth more than an investment banker."

businessdiary@independent.co.uk

PROMOTED VIDEO
News
Mick Jagger performing at Glastonbury
people
Life and Style
beautyBelgian fan lands L'Oreal campaign after being spotted at World Cup
Extras
indybest
Arts and Entertainment
Characters in the new series are based on real people, say its creators, unlike Arya and Clegane the Dog in ‘Game of Thrones’
tv'The Last Kingdom' is based on historical events
News
people
Arts and Entertainment
Chocolat author Joanne Harris has spoken about the financial struggles most authors face
books
Arts and Entertainment
filmSir Ian McKellen will play retired detective in new film
News
ebookA unique anthology of reporting and analysis of a crucial period of history
Life and Style
tech
Arts and Entertainment
'Molecular Man +1+1+1' by Jonathan Borofsky at Yorkshire Sculpture park
tv
News
Glamour magazine hosts a yoga class with Yogalosophy author Mandy Ingber on June 10, 2013 in New York City.
newsFather Padraig O'Baoill said the exercise was 'unsavoury' in a weekly parish newsletter
Extras
indybest
News
people'She is unstoppable', says Jean Paul Gaultier at Paris show
Have you tried new the Independent Digital Edition apps?
Independent Dating
and  

By clicking 'Search' you
are agreeing to our
Terms of Use.

iJobs Job Widget
iJobs Money & Business

Investment Banking Sales Manager

£40000 - £50000 per annum + competitive package: Orgtel: Investment Banking Sa...

Web Services Developer

£200 - £450 per day: Harrington Starr: Web Services Developer Web Services, WP...

Trainee Recruitment Consultants For Multiple UK Offices

£18000 - £25000 per annum + DOE, OTE £40000: SThree: LONDON - BRISTOL - DUBLIN...

Financial Accountant-IFRS-Gloucester-£300/day

£250 - £295 per day + competitive: Orgtel: Financial Accountant - IFRS - Glouc...

Day In a Page

The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

The true Gaza back-story that the Israelis aren’t telling this week

A future Palestine state will have no borders and be an enclave within Israel, surrounded on all sides by Israeli-held territory, says Robert Fisk
A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: The German people demand an end to the fighting

A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

The German people demand an end to the fighting
New play by Oscar Wilde's grandson reveals what the Irish wit said at his trials

New play reveals what Oscar Wilde said at trials

For a century, what Wilde actually said at his trials was a mystery. But the recent discovery of shorthand notes changed that. Now his grandson Merlin Holland has turned them into a play
Can scientists save the world's sea life from

Can scientists save our sea life?

By the end of the century, the only living things left in our oceans could be plankton and jellyfish. Alex Renton meets the scientists who are trying to turn the tide
Richard III, Trafalgar Studios, review: Martin Freeman gives highly intelligent performance

Richard III review

Martin Freeman’s psychotic monarch is big on mockery but wanting in malice
Hollywood targets Asian audiences as US films enjoy record-breaking run at Chinese box office

Hollywood targets Asian audiences

The world's second biggest movie market is fast becoming the Hollywood studios' most crucial
Grindr founder Joel Simkhai: 'I've found love on my dating app - and my mum keeps trying to hook me up!'

Grindr founder Joel Simkhai: 'I've found love on my dating app'

Five years on from its launch and Grindr is the world's most popular dating app for gay men. Its founder Joel Simkhai answers his critics, describes his isolation as a child
Autocorrect has its uses but it can go rogue with embarrassing results - so is it time to ditch it?

Is it time to ditch autocorrect?

Matthew J X Malady persuaded friends to message manually instead, but failed to factor in fat fingers and drunk texting
10 best girls' summer dresses

Frock chick: 10 best girls' summer dresses

Get them ready for the holidays with these cool and pretty options 
Westminster’s dark secret: Adultery, homosexuality, sadomasochism and abuse of children were all seemingly lumped together

Westminster’s dark secret

Adultery, homosexuality, sadomasochism and abuse of children were all seemingly lumped together
A History of the First World War in 100 Moments: Dulce et decorum est - a life cut short for a poet whose work achieved immortality

A History of the First World War in 100 Moments

Dulce et decorum est: a life cut short for a poet whose work achieved immortality
Google tells popular music website to censor album cover art in 'sexually explicit content' ban

Naked censorship?

The strange case of Google, the music website and the nudity take-down requests
Howzat! 8 best cricket bats

Howzat! 8 best cricket bats

As England take on India at Trent Bridge, here is our pick of the high-performing bats to help you up your run-count this summer 
Brazil vs Germany World Cup 2014 comment: David Luiz falls from leader figure to symbol of national humiliation

David Luiz falls from leader figure to symbol of national humiliation

Captain appears to give up as shocking 7-1 World Cup semi-final defeat threatens ramifications in Brazil