On yer cycle if you want to write a business bestseller

BUNHILL

DjawantA make some money? Well I've discovered one business that is risk-proof and entirely free from cyclical influences: writing about business cycles. Latest entry comes from one William Houston, whose Riding the Business Cycle is a veritable shed of cycles. These range from 500- year cycles and the "179-year epic of cultures and conflicts" (a key to these books is the sheer sweep of the bull) to a slew of climatic cycles, as well as a gallery of others ranging from the US real estate cycle to Raymond Wheeler's "18.3-year rainfall and real estate" cycle. Such titles give a clue to the true nature of the wheeze. All these witchdoctors take in each other's washing, basing their warnings on the rubbish produced by others in the financial snake-oil game.

Houston's epic is graced by a preface from the facile pen of Lord Rees- Mogg, former editor of the Times, who performed the same service for Meltdown, the author's previous work of prophecy. This was recommended by the noble lord "to all who want to survive the great 90s depression". In his new preface, he intones how "most of us have the instinctive feeling that business has a rhythm like that of the seasons: winter will be followed by spring, high summer will be followed by autumn" Tell me: how can I get paid for writing stuff like this?