Pembroke: Bully-off at Lonrho

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DESPITE the promise of dire legal consequences if he did not grovel, Josie Rowland has withdrawn her threatened legal action against Tom Bower, the author of her husband's biography, Tiny Rowland - A Rebel Tycoon.

Mrs Rowland said yesterday that her lawyers had advised her that she had been insufficiently abused. 'When I complained that I felt injured as a wife and mother, they pointed out that it was neither a profession, a calling, a trade or a vocation,' she said.

Mrs Rowland has not been amused by Mr Bower's account of her days at Arundel, Rhodesia's elite girl's boarding school. She is described as 'a very private girl, uninterested in sport and not outstanding in any academic pursuit'.

The victim retorts: 'I agree my achievements are piffling. I was merely deputy head girl, house captain and centre-half for the school hockey team.'

ACCORDING to the Datamonitor service, condoms have been the second-hottest product on the over-the-counter healthcare market over the past five years. The biggest growth product, it turns out, has been pregnancy testing kits. Something has gone fundamentally wrong here. Perhaps printed instructions would help.

THE FORTHCOMING advertising campaign featuring 'French wine in Plain English' will not include some of Britain's finest tourist attractions. While the series does associate 'Isle of Wight and Blanc d'Alsace' and 'Cheddar Gorge and Anjou rouge', the French rejected the agency's best efforts. These included 'Clacton- on-Sea and Entre Deux Mers' and, yes, 'On Ilkley Moor Barsac.'

ONE HOGG, you might think, is much like another. However, there are subtle differences as a casual glance at Douglas, the Foreign Office minister, and Sir Christopher, the head of Courtaulds, will confirm. Moreover, it was Sir Christopher, not Douglas as reported here, who on Wednesday told a European audience that trying to run a company on the basis of business school teachings was like trying to make love using a sex manual.

The notion that a Foreign Office minister has referred to a sex manual must not be allowed to go uncorrected.