Give your self five points for a correct answer, deduct 10 per cent of your running total for an incorrect answer, divide the total scored by the number of questions answered to date for a don't know and lose all points for phoning the newspaper and asking when the answers to the questions will be published. I hope that is clear enough.
As that great quizmaster in the sky once told us: "I have started and whilst you may wish I had never bothered, I intend to make a stab at carrying on."
1) What was the average price of a three bedroomed semi-detached house in your area last month?
a) More than it was the previous month
b) More than it was the previous year
c) More than you can afford
2) There is a house in?
a) Need of some modernisation
b) A quiet and friendly neighbourhood
c) New Orleans
3) What do you call 33 estate agents at the bottom of the ocean?
a) A good start
b) A very good start
c) All of the above
4) A property priced for a quick sale is?
a) Any property that has been put on the market in the last 18 months
b) A typing mistake
c) A rough approximation to the truth
5) Which is the odd one out?
a) An egg
b) A carpet
c) A real fire
(NB: You can beat an egg and you can beat a carpet.)
6) If Diamonds are for ever, and dogs are not just for Christmas, what is an estate agent is for?
a) If I knew the
b) Answer to that
c) I would be very wealthy
7) People who live in glass houses shouldn't?
a) Throw stones
b) Make love without drawing the curtains
c) Invite the double glazing salesman in for coffee
8) The catch phrase "Elementary My Dear Watson" was coined by?
a) Ideal Homes
b) Executive Homes
c) Sherlock Holmes
9) If it takes three men four weeks to build two houses, how long does it take to finish the conservatory?
10) May I take this opportunity to wish you